Death's Eyes on this Wonderful World
by Tsccfan1997
Summary: After passing away at a young age Shiki Tohno reincarnates into a world besieged by a demon king and like any good hero candidate he immediately shirks his responsibilities and sets out to find a way home. Arcueid true ending, post-epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there TF here with my first story, I primarily wrote it out of a personal desire to add a Tsukihime crossover to the website and my belief that a crossover with Tsukihime won't be inundated with views. To give some background this crossover will feature a Shiki taken shortly after Tsukihime's epilogue, following on from Arcueid's true ending which will be briefly explained in the story. I plan for this story to end during the second season of Konosuba (I've read up to volume 12 of the LN so no excuses for contradicting it). Any reviews are welcome, I'm under no illusions that my writing could use some work and am open to advice. Hope you enjoy.**

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Aqua-sama is quietly sobbing in her chair, true to her status as a goddess of water she has been in tears for the last few minutes occasionally pausing to call me "Creepy blindfold guy". Prior to this she had been waving her hands in front of my face while asking me if wearing a blindfold is supposed to made me look cool, she then spent several minutes laughing at her own joke and declared that I must have died by walking into traffic.

It looks like it'll be a while so I suppose I should get around to talking about myself and Arcueid Brunestud. My life had been perfectly normal for the most part, I spent most of my life living with a small branch family after an accident forced me to leave the family estate. I had been recently recalled to the Tohno estate by my sister, Akiha after she became the new head of the family. I'd been looking forward to seeing her but after my return I found that my relationship with my sister was quite strained. While I had lived an easy life as a typical student, Akiha had been forced to take up my responsibilities as the head of the family in my absence. It was while wasting an afternoon avoiding my estranged sister that I met her. It was a memorable meeting or more accurately it was a catastrophic meeting- I came to my senses in her apartment to find her cut into seventeen pieces.

It strikes me as incredibly unlikely that anyone else could have found themselves in my position, for all that I was a normal high school student I doubt anyone else would have followed a stranger home and killed them. I awoke soon after at the Tohno estate convinced the encounter had been a bad dream, after all I was a completely average person. It wasn't until I encountered her again on the way to school that my existence as a normal person ended. The events that followed and my forced conscription into a battle against immortal vampires would not have occurred were it not for my abnormal decisions that afternoon, so its safe to say that the tragedies that followed were my fault.

Arcueid Brunestud is a vampire, I probably don't need to explain what a vampire is in detail but there are several differences that I should mention when describing her. She did not die when cut into seventeen pieces, she had an aversion to consuming human blood and when compared to all other vampires she was strong. So strong in fact that to describe Arcueid Brunestud as simply strong is a disservice, Arcueid was a product of greater beings known as the true ancestors who created her an arbitrary goal. They created her to be stronger than themselves. Why they chose to do this is unknown even to her but what we do know is that they succeeded.

After achieving their seemingly arbitrary goals, the true ancestors found a purpose for their creation. They named her their princess but given the role she served it would be more accurate to describe her as an executor. They kept their princess in a castle far beyond human reach awakening her when they had need of her strength, providing her only the knowledge needed to kill her targets and nothing else. Her targets were any true ancestors who fed on human blood and the monsters created from their victims.

Arcueid was an effective executioner and even as the last true ancestor she pursued the monsters which served as their legacy. Unfortunately after being cut into seventeen pieces by an ordinary high school student she was weakened and forced to enlist his help in slaying her target. The story that followed was a hellish battle for survival which ended with the vampires slain and Arcueid sleeping in a castle far beyond my reach. As far as I know she's still recovering from the injuries I inflicted on her during our first meeting.

It may seem unlikely that a normal high school student could survive such a story, indeed it is difficult to imagine that an immortal vampire could be harmed by a normal person. My ability to perform these feats while notable is not important to the story, for the time being it would be sufficient to say that a long time ago I awoke in hospital to a world covered in lines and dots, if these lines are cut or these dots are stabbed, anything can die.

Having lived a normal life up until recently I rarely thought of this ability, no student needs an ability to commit murders and I have an aversion to taking lives. Because of this I am perhaps understating its involvement in my current predicament. After surviving those perilous weeks alongside Arcueid I died suddenly from the strain of perceiving the world in a way that no human was meant to. My 'Mystic Eyes of Death Perception' brought about my own death.

…This preamble has gone on for quite a long time, to be honest I'm still patiently waiting for the Goddess in front of me to calm down. There is little else to be done in this empty void, it's devoid of anything other than a chair containing a crying goddess and myself. I think she's done crying, It has been a while since I've heard any... she's sleeping.

"Aqua-sama" I hear her shift slightly but she doesn't respond.

"Oi, wake up!" her chair scrapes as she starts at the sudden noise.

"Eh, what's happening here? Why is there a creepy blindfold guy?"

"It's Shiki Tohno and as the Goddess here I think you should be the one answering questions."

/-/

This is ridiculous, what is this the plot of a light novel. The idiot goddess in front of me is rambling on about another world which works on RPG mechanics yet somehow she sounds like she's trying to sell me a used car. Ignoring her I take the opportunity to reflect on what she's said up until this point trying to discern something of value. In the last few minutes she's proclaimed heaven a sexless care home and dismissed the cycle of reincarnation as pointless. It's pretty obvious she's pushing me to take her third offer, but I can't say I see the appeal of playing clean-up for this idiot. The mess I'm speaking of is that somehow the goddesses of this other world have managed their domain so poorly that people are refusing to reincarnate into it.

"… And so, all you need to do is to choose a powerful ability or weapon."

I'm brought out of my distracted thoughts by the loud thump of the catalogue she just dropped in front of me. The first page is filled with all kinds of ridiculous weapons and abilities on it, 'God Gun', 'The Blue', 'Gate of Babylon' and all sorts of abilities with names way too specific not to be references. Of course, none of these names seem particularly helpful as I have no idea how they're meant would work.

"Do you know what 'The Blue' is supposed to mean?" How could anyone pick an ability with such vague names?

"Nah ~ hurry up it doesn't matter what you choose, come it can be anything"

After recovering from her previous fit of tears she's returned to that dismissive attitude from before. But well if she really means anything…

"Okay, I choose Arcueid Brunestud"

"Alright. Please don't move away from the centre of the magic circle…"

Wait, did that just work, I've been searching for months and now-

"…What did you just say?"

Ah there it is.

"Arcueid Brunestud, I want to bring her with me."

Hopefully she won't recognise the name, she doesn't exactly seem very well informed so It's unlikely she's even heard of- why is she hyperventilating?

"You… you're the one who… you dated… that one… no. As a goddess I refuse your request"

There is an awkward silence which for once the goddess doesn't feel the need to break, almost a minute passes before I finally respond.

"You shouldn't say things like that after getting someone's hopes up you… _fragile goddess."_

As I hiss out those last words I slowly raise my blindfold exposing my left eye.

-Thump

Blue Hair and eyes. She's not human.

A light purple hagoromo draped listlessly over her shoulders. She's not human.

Lines and dots cover her like fracture glass. She can die.

-THUMP

The fingertips of my right-hand tremble as they curl around the hilt of a concealed butterfly knife. She's not human.

-THUMP

My brain tells me only one word, I grit my teeth as I try to suppress the impulse.

This goddess. I'm going to-

"Waaaaaaah! He's giving me a creepy look, why, why do I get all the weirdos?"

Crying hysterically the inconsiderate goddess dives behind her chair as though it could somehow protect her. As she moves out of sight the impulse disappears as though a spell were broken. With my thoughts calm again I idly recall hearing that weirdos attract other weirdos. I release an exasperated sigh as I lower the blindfold and try to regain my composure.

"Why won't you bring her here?"

Despite my best efforts I can't suppress the animosity that leaks into my voice, her voice trembles as she sniffs back a sob.

"She can't be brought here, creatures like that can't leave the world they were born into." For once it seems like the goddess is giving a useful response.

"Can you send me back to my world with my memories intact?"

"Only if you defeat the demon king", the demand might have sounded more grandiose if it weren't for her petulant tone. Despite my frustration I take a moment to consider my options, this goddess is presenting me with an opportunity to return to life and with enough creativity I can find a way back to my world.

"Right so you said I can pick anything I want"

"Within reason"

"Can you give me an item that will let me travel to anywhere I want?"

As the words leave my mouth her eyes narrow, it seems she's caught onto my intent, I might have been a bit obvious there.

"How is that going to help you kill the demon king?"

"I get lost easily so I need something to help me find him…" I never was a very good liar.

"Ah makes sense" no it doesn't.

"Shiki Tohno san. You will be heading to another world now and become one of the candidate heroes to defeat the demon king. You will receive a gift from the gods the moment you defeat the demon king."

"This speech sounds rehearsed"

She shoots me a glare before continuing.

"A gift befitting a world saviour… you will be granted a wish, it can be anything you want."

"Why did you say it like that? You already know what I want."

An awkward silence forms between us before I am suddenly thrust into another world, it seems I've spoiled the mood she was going for.

/-/

I narrowly avoid what sounds like a carriage travelling over the pavement before I lift my blindfold to take in my surroundings. Houses right out of medieval England and strange looking passer-by who are all giving me a wide berth. Huh, I think I just saw someone with elf ears- oh animal ears this world really is built like a lazy RPG.

I slink into a nearby alleyway before searching my pockets for anything of use. I find my knife, a compass which had not been their before and a note. Examining the compass, I open the metal casing to find a golden needle floating inside a clear orb, surprisingly the lines of death on the item are faded and thin marking the compass as sturdier than the goddess who created it. Flipping open the accompanying note I find detailed instructions on how to use the item written by someone named Eris. Following the instructions, I call out my desired location.

"Millennium Castle Brunestud…" nothing, "the Tohno Estate…" nothing, "next to that wall"

My face is inches away from a wall that a moment ago had been several metres away. I stare at the note again flipping it over to find an additional passage.

 _P.S. I doubt this will matter but the item's range is limited to the world you are on. I am certain that you did not ask for this artefact with the intention of abandoning this world without slaying the demon king so there should be no issues with this limitation._

 _Eris_

"Ah… clever"

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 **Story won't be finished that quickly I'm afraid. I do plan on bringing Kazuma into the world later but the story will still be told from Shiki's perspective. There was a lot of exposition this chapter, for the most part I'll be looking to get across anything else about Shiki's past without any big infodumps. In case anyone's curious I tried to emulate Nisioisin's writing style during Shiki's retelling of Tsukihime, I thought it might help get it across quickly while conveying Shiki's opinions on his past. So... Did I nail it? Or did I fail it?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again, TF here with the second chapter, I'm probably posting these chapters a bit too quickly, I've had plenty of free time this weekend but I won't be able to post anything else this week. Hopefully I won't disappoint the two readers following this story.**

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Very well. Let's kill each other…

I think I said something embarrassing like that during my first real fight.

Thinking back on that it's a miracle I survived, a human really shouldn't have been throwing out cool sounding lines when confronting a monster and definitely not when fighting something like Nrvnqsr Chaos. Reflecting on my previous battles I can't help but feel embarrassed. I've been stalking three goblins for the last half-hour.

Goblins are a low-level monster in this world, they travel in groups, they use primitive weapons made from sticks and stones and they're about the size of a middle schooler. As one of the most prolific vampire killers born in recent years I can't help but think this is a step down. I imagine Arcueid would see the humour in it, admittedly that airhead was always easily amused.

I've been following from a distance as they make their way back up the mountain trail using my new skills to avoid detection. I'm not sure how I would have followed them without 'hide', the path they've been following is about two metres wide but with a wall to my left and a cliff to my right there's nothing to use for cover. I think I'm starting to warm up to the skill point system in this world, I wasn't sure how to feel about buying skills but with 'hide' allowing me to move unnoticed in the mountains' shadow and 'enemy detection' letting me track them without uncovering my eyes I'm starting to appreciate the convenience.

My first plan to escape this world's been foiled by a meddlesome goddess so with no other leads I asked around about the demon king and was referred to the guild who've been organising adventurers in the fight against the demon king's army. My enthusiasm towards such a well organised setup dwindled quickly after I found out about the registration fee, I was also less than pleased to learn that the local currency is named after that meddlesome goddess. I was about to abandon the guild and start planning a direct attack on the demon king before a thief offered to loan me the 1000… Eris needed to register. The irony of a thief loaning out money wasn't lost on either of us. I promised to pay her back once I complete my first quest and did my best to overlook her suspicious laughter when she wished me luck.

Given that the reward for killing a single goblin is 20,000… Eris I'm using this as an opportunity to test out my new abilities against low-level monsters. The opportunity to gather enough… local currency to repay my debt certainly doesn't hurt either. According to the guild the goblins are trying to build a stronghold somewhere on the mountain hence the need to follow three low-level monsters along this trail. I had wanted to travel there using my 'cheat item' but helpfully it cannot be used without an accurate mental image of the target destination.

"Oh, that's not right."

Without any warning the goblins have doubled back and unbeknownst to them are moments away from confronting their stalker, I doubt 'hide' can stop them noticing me if I'm stood right in front of them so it might be time to improvise. Making as little noise as possible I kick-off the wall to get some height before scrabbling for a purchase with both hands, I catch the edge a small overhang and with a substantial amount of effort I manage to pull myself up onto a ledge before reactivating 'hide'. The goblins pass underneath me in rush as though panicked, they're not reacting to me, so I don't know what could have spooked- ah, I've figured out why they turned around. It seems I'm not the only stalker they've picked up.

As my new enemy enters my line of sight I lower my blindfold allowing it to hang around my neck like a scarf, it's time to see what I'm dealing with. The beast resembles a panther, it's fangs are worthy of the prefix sabre toothed and in terms of size it's closer to a horse than any 'big cat' I've ever seen, despite the shallow resemblance I still can't help but compare it to one of Chaos' beasts. Strangely it seems to be following the goblins at a leisurely pace while scanning its surrounding for something, why isn't it making any move to attack them? Well if that's what's preventing my quarry from returning to their stronghold then at least the solution is simple. My body tenses as I wait for the beast to pass below me, with my eyes exposed I observe the black lines holding its body together.

"Found it" there's a point of death on the nape of its neck.

Retrieving my knife from a pocket inside my jacket and taking it in a forehand grip I pause, drawing in a deep breath before leaping. I'm going to-

Kill it.

-Thump

Unbidden I experience an impulse, it isn't human. I'm going to-

Kill it.

-THUMP

It takes an instant, an instant which feels like an eternity as my mind repeats a single thought over and over-

Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Kill-

The beast reacts instinctively at the last second. Panicking it bucks and lashes out towards an unseen attacker with its hind leg. Without thinking I switch to a backhanded grip and readjust my aim slashing at the lines connecting the offending limb to its body.

My shirt tears, its claws rake three shallow cuts into my chest and my mind itches at the sight of the lines littering its body, I need to end this fast. I prepare to press my attack as the beast lets out a snarl but before I have a chance to move it lashes out with its forelegs. As it attempts to rend me with its claws the beast stumbles its balance impaired by the loss of its hind leg. Capitalising on the moment of vulnerability I lash out at the offending limbs.

First, I trace the line connecting the left foreleg to its body, then a line located halfway up its right foreleg. It tries to attack with its teeth, as it its jaws envelop my arm I trace the line above its lower jaw severing it before the beast can bite down. I move past the beast tracing a line along its right flank before vaulting over its back tracing one more line behind its shoulder blades as I pass over.

I killed it, the fearsome beast which moments earlier threatened my life has been reduced to a pile of limbs, several sections of torso and a bisected head. As I acknowledge its death the violent impulses that had driven my attack fade, before covering my eyes again I glance at my adventurer card.

Huh I've gone up quite a few levels, looks like the beast was pretty tough. My pounding headache encourages me to put off assigning skill points until after I return to the guild. Stowing the card away in my pocket I pull my blindfold back over my eyes and use 'enemy detection' to locate the goblins.

/-/

It took another hour to follow the goblins back to their stronghold, they built it in an open space close to the mountains' summit. Based on the nearly thirty enemies registering on 'enemy detection' I think the guild may have understated the severity of their goblin problem. After my encounter with that beast I'm reluctant to charge in and launch an all-out attack. Lifting my blindfold, I make an effort to assess the enemy stronghold, a two-metre-high barricade constructed of wood surrounds the entire camp preventing me from seeing in, the barricade is patrolled by a handful of goblins and as far as I can see there's only one entrance. Finally, they appear to have some sort of primitive well located outside of the walls which a goblin is drawing water from, the sight might have been an inspiring show of ingenuity if it wasn't using an adventurers helmet as a bucket. Lowering my blindfold, I reluctantly retreat with the information I've gathered. Maybe its time I took a cue from my new class and tried my hand at subterfuge.

/-/

I learned the name of the beast I'd killed from a stunned member of staff after I returned. I've developed a newfound respect for my deceased foe, in comparison to the overly ostentatious names favoured by 'The Serpent of Akasha' and 'Nrvnqsr Chaos' I can't help but find 'Rookie killer' refreshingly straightforward. Given my miraculous survival the staff were kind enough to throw in an extra 30,000 on top of the already sizeable sum paid out for the rookie killer. The staff were also far more eager to answer my questions than they had been during my last visit, they confirmed my suspicions that arson, poisoning and other indirect methods are acceptable means of killing during a quest they also eagerly directed me towards the shop where I can use the rewards to purchase some high-level items.

Entering 'Wiz's Magic Shop', I am greeted by a yelp followed by a loud crash and the very distinctive sound of shattering bottles, it's an expensive sound. I'm about to ask whether the shopkeeper needs any help when she speaks up from the floor.

"U-Umm, hello, c-can I help you?"

"You sound hurt, do you need me to do anything?"

"Actually, when you came in, I knocked over a cabinet of potions, I'm sort of trapped beneath it, lying in a pool of broken glass so I'd appreciate it if you could help."

"…Right" Mention that first next time!

While she had been talking I followed the shopkeepers' voice until I came up next to her crouching down to help free the hapless shopkeeper from her own products, I wait until the last moment before removing my blindfold to assess the damage.

She has brown hair and eyes, a homely face with gentle features and she's not human.

-Thump

She's trapped beneath the cabinet; her hands are visible against the corner closest to me, she can't defend herself.

-Thump

My hands tremble as I reach down towards her-

Tightly grasping the cabinet, I pull on it with as much strength as I can muster, it isn't much, I can only leverage it up an inch or so. Using the extra room afforded to her, the not human shopkeeper manages to awkwardly slide out from underneath the case. After she's freed I drop the cabinet to the ground and offer her a polite if uneasy smile as I replace my blindfold.

"I'm sorry for troubling you like that, now then, please tell me what it is you came in here for."

"I was looking for high-level potion…" I pause nodding in the direction of the fallen cabinet and the array of expensive potions dashed across the floor "You wouldn't happen to have any surplus in the back, would you?"

/-/

The adventurers behind me are being way too noisy at this time of day, based on the embarrassing speech one of them is giving about fate and explosion magic I'm seriously considering moving down a few more tables. Doing my best to ignore them I peek out from my blindfold and check my adventurer card, with a smile I note that my experience and level have been steadily increasing for the last ten minutes.

I'm surprised this plan worked, I'm so used to things going awry at the last second that I'd been reluctant to follow through. Still for once it seems that my preparations have paid off, the goblins had been well prepared for any adventurers dumb enough to charge in looking for a fight but drawing water from an unguarded well had proven a fatal decision. It was just a matter of time before someone slipped a bottle of very potent slow-acting poison into their water supply, I'm just lucky I was the first to think of it.

I've already used my newfound wealth to arrange better living conditions, after my time living with Akiha I've become attached to sleeping in western style beds and straw is no substitute for a feather mattress. I'm feeling a little tired after all my exercise last night, to avoid detection I chose to carry out my plan after midnight and the lack of sleep's catching up to me. I've decided to treat myself to a small feast in the guildhall while I wait to collect my reward. I asked the staff to direct Chris towards me if she comes by, I should probably pay her back with interest for that loan if I don't want to owe her a favour.

"Ah! I'm sorry! Please don't pull on it! Stop… Stop it!"

While I've been trying to enjoy a surprisingly nice meal featuring a hefty piece of frog meat those adventurers have continued to argue noisily, they've fought over over class tiers, magic stats and most recently purposeless articles of clothing.

"Keep it down!"

Losing my patience, I slam my hand down on the table and shout back at them, receiving a chorus of yelps in reply.

"S-Sorry! We didn't see you there… say are you like this girl, are you here for the recruitment poster?"

"Hey, don't just call me 'this girl'. I'd prefer you called me by name."

Based on the voice it seems the male adventurer was the one who spoke up first. Ignoring the complaints of the girl he'd been arguing with, I turn to face him before addressing his question.

"I didn't _see_ any recruitment poster, what are you guys looking for?"

"You haven't seen it… Perfect!" You said something weird just now, "We'll take anyone at the moment, we're on a quest to kill…"

I hear a thump as someone falls to the floor.

"Oi, Aqua what are you doing, why are you curling up the foetal position right now. Hey, c'mon you former something-or-other we need to recruit some party members."

Aqua… No, it can't be-

"P- Protect me, Kazuma! If I'm defiled by the hands of that creepy blindfold guy and his questionable dating habits the name of the beautiful and stunning Aqua-sama will forever be tainted! If news of it gets out all of those good children will lose their devotion!"

Oi, what do you mean by questionable dating habits!

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 **So that's the second chapter, featuring my first fight scene and what was hopefully a decent set up and payoff with Shiki's plan to kill the goblins. I don't have much experience writing fight scenes so I based it loosely on the fight with Nrvnqsr hence why I name dropped him thrice in this chapter.** **I won't be posting any more chapters for about a week. I'm expecting that this story will take** **20 or so chapters to reach my planned ending.**

 **Well thanks for giving this chapter a read.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again to those, wow eight followers, I'm weirdly proud to have any. So this is the first group outing with the main cast. I was a little nervous to write group dynamics but hopefully I've at least managed to keep who's speaking to whom clear. We're still going to follow Konosuba's plot for another two chapters, I'm planning to have the plot start diverging more in the fifth chapter.**

 ***Chapter Start***

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"… So, as I was saying we're on a quest to kill five giant toads, this ones' only strong suit is healing magic and I'm the weakest class, so we're looking to gather a party."

"Alright that's good to know but are you sure it's okay to leave your partner on the floor like that?"

"Everybody's used to it by now."

"I don't think that makes it okay."

I had been wondering why no one intervened, from the sounds of it no one even got out of their seats. This boy, Kazuma just continued his recruitment pitch where he left off, he barely even reacted when she demanded he protect her purity. How is everyone used to this already and why isn't anyone bothered by what she just said?

"Giant toads huh? They don't sound like they're worth much, how are you splitting the reward?" Ignoring the issue, I instead ask about his offer.

"We get 100,000 Eris ̶ "

What self-respecting goddess has a currency named after her?

" ̶ for the job and 5000 for each additional toad we slay, we'll split the reward evenly between the group, so far we've got this girl who says she's an archwizard ̶ "

"It's not this girl it's Megumin." the girl next to me interrupts.

I hear Kazuma stifle a laugh at the mention of her name, I'm vaguely aware that Megumin is an unfortunate name to be give a child, but when I compare it to names like "Valdamjong" and "Zelretch" it just doesn't stand out.

" ̶ this one who can heal and serve as a distraction ̶ "

The party's healer is still making sniffling sounds from the floor, but she seems to be calming down, I'm starting to feel a little bad after hearing that reaction, I really hadn't meant to scare her this much.

" ̶ and me who can… well… I have a sword."

I can hear him drawing his blade from its scabbard as he no doubt attempts to display his sword to me. After an awkward pause and the sound of the blade being returned to its scabbard Kazuma picks up the conversation where he left off.

"So now that I've explained everything, may I ask you a couple of questions?" He sounds like he's trying to sound nonchalant.

"…is it about the blindfold?"

"It's about the blindfold?... Oh, and your class, abilities and nationality would help too."

"So, the blindfold ̶ "

"Well Kazuma allow the intelligent and kind Aqua to explain ̶ " Okay I guess she can explain it " ̶ this former megane needs that blindfold to protect the innocent from his disgusting eyes." Alright I guess I deserved that one for threatening her.

"…That pretty much covers it, I'll take it off during fights." I resignedly agree with the goddess

As vague as her explanation is, she isn't technically wrong. I'm not sure why she seems to have regained her confidence so quickly, maybe she just likes lecturing people. Hopefully Kazuma will accept her vague explanation, I don't think he'd react well if I told him that I can see death everywhere. I'll probably have to explain it to him, no one would be satisfied with that explanation, let alone when recruiting party members.

"I see, I see so about those other things…" That was enough?

"Alright then, I'm an assassin. I'm still at a low level so I can only use 'hide' and 'detect enemy'."

"I see, I see and where was it you come from again?" He asks.

I haven't said, based on his line of questioning he's probably already knows. Well in that case there's no harm telling him, with a name like Kazuma he's probably the same.

"I can from some far-off place called Japan, the name's Shiki Tohno, I'll be in your care."

/-/

Kazuma seems to be excited to meet someone from his own world, given the eccentric personalities of the locals I don't really blame him. After Megumin and I agreed to form a part with him we set out to complete our embarrassingly easy quest. I'd been planning to avoid groups when I arrived here, but this seems like a good opportunity to speak to someone else about being pulled over to this world, considering that he chose to bring a goddess with him he's probably more informed than most. I've been trying to ask him about it, but he's busy bonding with Megumin over exaggerated tales of his past adventures.

He's about to finish recounting an epic battle fought in some online RPG, like most of his stories it involves him singlehandedly carrying a party through a difficult raid and definitely isn't an exaggeration. Based on the awe in her voice I think it's safe to say Megumin is under the impression that he's going to be carrying this party. After he finishes his latest story Megumin excitedly runs ahead to 'show us the true power of explosion magic', without anyone else willing to listen to his stories Kazuma and I start discussing our respective attempts to take advantage of our 'cheat items'. It seems his plan backfired far worse that mine did, rather than gaining some flashy item marking him as a legendary hero he's taken on the responsibility of caring for an easily distracted priest.

"So Tohno what kind of games do you have experience with?"

"Well I've played a couple of stories at with Arihiko and a few of his friends but we couldn't really get into it. Arihiko's not a very good DM" He kept adding in over levelled enemies so that he could 'win' the game, everyone playing gave up when it was clear we wouldn't make it out of the first room.

"Wait that sounds like a table top game I meant online stuff, you know like 'Elder Tale'."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you about that, Kazuma what year is it?"

"2013."

"Ah I see… when I died the year was 2001."

" ̶ Eep"

As I spoke we both turned to glare in the direction of the suspiciously quiet goddess who had sidled up next to Kazuma during our conversation, well Kazuma glared I just kind of turned to face her and scowled.

"Hey, hey Aqua, what's this guy talking about huh, how long have you been abducting teenagers for? Why hasn't anyone stopped the demon king yet if you're just handing out cheat items to millions of Japanese boys?"

It's a good thing Megumin ran ahead, I'm not sure how we would explain the concept of parallel worlds to someone who grew up in a medieval society, I guess they would have some sort of fantasy equivalent of the concept, possibly even the one that brought us here. Turning back to the goddess who is somehow being picked on by a teenage boy I speak up in her defence.

"I don't think they've brought over that many people Kazuma, I only arrived a few days before you did which means that either the year we died doesn't affect our arrival or the esteemed Aqua-sama has screwed up."

She lets out an indignant squawk at that last remark before she responds.

"I didn't screw anything up nobody told the esteemed Aqua-sama ̶ " Don't turn it into a compliment " ̶ that she was speaking to the concubine of the 'White Princess', if he can seduce a true ancestor then what if he turns his seductive wiles on the beautiful Aqua-sama?"

"… wait, is that why you freaked out when you saw me again?"

"Why else would anyone be afraid of you?"

…All of my guilt for threatening you, give it back, give it all back.

"Alright, so when you said I had disgusting eyes ̶ "

"Hey, hey is what she said before true, are you dating some beautiful rich girl who can cover all your expenses? Did you get to live a luxury in some princess' palace your whole life?" After remaining silent throughout a speech hinting at the existence of beings that a goddess would find intimidating, Kazuma finally starts asking questions. I don't think I like his priorities.

"…Aqua can you explain the time difference?" I attempt a reassuring smile as I force the conversation back onto the topic of my summoning.

"Ah, there was a clerical error, you weren't supposed to come here." the smile falls from my face and she pauses sounding less certain when she resumes her speech. "I-It didn't have anything to do with Aqua-sama, I delegated the workload to one of my subordinates, she's the one who caused the mix up."

I take in a shaky breath, if I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place, then is there any guarantee that I can be return to my own time?

"When I return to my world, is it possible to return to the same point I left?"

"… No."

Aqua voice sounds nervous, I hear a scuffle and a few complaints from Kazuma as she tries to hide behind him. I guess I did manage to scare her after all, I doubt she'd be this nervous if she thought I was hitting on her.

More importantly, I've just lost twelve years with my family, worse yet every second I spend here is more time lost. I'm tempted to yell at her, threaten her, maybe I can force her to send me back immediately. The thoughts leave as quickly as they came, leaving only guilt at my own viciousness. I doubt she'd be here if she could just send people back, even then it's not really fair to yell at Aqua for this situation. If she hadn't made the mistake of bringing me here, then I would have died. I'd have died without having the chance to say goodbye to anyone, not Akiha, nor Hisui, nor Kohaku, nor Arihiko. I would even lose my chance to find Arcueid.

"When Kazuma kills the demon king, I can return you to your world, so if you want to go back, just help Kazuma defeat the demon king." Oblivious to my inner turmoil Aqua blatantly offers me her self-serving advice.

"Well when you put it like that ̶ "

"EXPLOSION!"

My words are cut off by the sound of an explosion and its preceding battle cry, an instant later we're buffeted by a sudden shockwave caused by the detonation. Draping my blindfold around my neck, my eyes are drawn to a column of fire and smoke rising from the ground twenty metres ahead. Given what little I've heard from Megumin today I think it's safe to assume she's the cause, the real question is why she would need to cast such a powerful spell?

Before I can say anything to either of them Kazuma and Aqua sprint ahead, they're probably planning to rescue their new party member, it's what any hero worth the name would do. My agility stat is higher than theirs', if I ran ahead I could probably get to Megumin first. I steel myself as I turn away from the pillar of smoke in the distance and run to higher ground, if those two are already dashing towards her then someone should hang back to survey the area. I find a hill near the site of the explosion and dash up it to gain a better vantage point. I take stock of my allies' positions and examine our enemies, based on my observation I've determine that the situation looks dangerous if a little comical.

Megumin, at least I assume that's her, is lying face down on grass, she's slowly sliding downhill as an oversized toad hops towards her, even from here I can feel the earth shake with each weighty hop. Kazuma, I'm assuming based on the tracksuit that's him, is running towards her shouting obscenities and waving a sword above his head, something about his form makes me doubt he knows how to use it.

Rather than support her allies the parties' healer 'wisely' opts to instead charge a completely different toad which doesn't even seem to have noticed them. She closes in on her foe thrusting her staff forward like a spear, as she attacks she yells out the name of what I assume is her signature attack, helpfully adding on that it is 'a goddess's requiem of love and sorrow'. The toad appears impervious to her requiem, ignoring her feelings it eats the attack in far more literal sense than I'd expected. I continue to watch as the toad raises its' head into the air exposing a pair of legs which dangle from its' mouth pointing straight up in the air. Its' lack of teeth leaves the toad with little choice but to inelegantly attempt to swallow her, good, that'll leave me plenty of time to mount a rescue.

Returning my gaze to Kazuma I find him hard at work trying to free Megumin from an identical predicament. To my surprise the toad seems entirely content to take hits as it gradually swallows its' prey. As I observe his efforts I take a moment to appreciate the convenience of 'enemy detection'. If I didn't have it I probably wouldn't have noticed the four toads slowly making their way to the surface. I should probably act quickly, based on Kazuma's current efforts I doubt he'll be able to do much against four toads unwilling to take his attacks.

Crossing the distance with ease I feel a familiar calm come over me, reacting to martial training I've long since forgotten I instinctively plan out my objectives, my first task is to slay the 'Goddess Eating Toad'. Once I'm within five metres of my target a familiar impulse kicks in instructing me to ̶

̶ Thump

Kill it.

Without any need to disobey the instruction I follow it, somersaulting over the toad I land gracefully behind it before poking the point of death located on its back. It expires instantly expelling a mewling goddess from its mouth. Given their size I should probably consider these toads at least a little threatening, their large mucus covered bodies make tracing lines of death a difficult task After what I saw of Kazuma's 'battle' it's entirely possible that the toad would stand there and let me cut its lines, but I don't have the time to test that theory. Leaving a slime covered Aqua on the ground I move quickly to support a still struggling Kazuma. Just as he frees Megumin I race past him eyes already focused on my next target, I'm starting to enjoy this. I vault over a toad as it erupts from the ground beneath me, like the last one I find its' point of death located on the back, I end its' short foray to the surface with a perfectly executed poke. In the background I can hear Kazuma screaming at the sudden attack. His girlish screams continue as I repeat my feat of athleticism and skill twice more claiming two more lives as the remaining toads breach the surface. Turning on my heel, I face the sole survivor of their ill-fated ascent.

Our eyes meet, I glare at the toad which in turn casts me a wary look… at least I think that's what it's doing, it could just as easily be blankly staring ahead. Regardless, I fall into a combat stance switching my knife to a backhanded grip, I keep my eyes focused on the toad overtaken by a rising urge to extinguish this thing, my mouth stretches into a smile. It's not-human, it should die.

Opening its' mouth, the toad flings an oversized and excessively slick tongue in my direction, swaying to the right I evade the attack putting only centimetres between myself and the improvised projectile, as the tongue slides past flecks of mucus fly in my direction catching my cheek. Letting out a low growl I swing my knife at the tongue tracing a line located halfway along its' length, the blade meets no resistance severing it effortlessly. Reacting to the pain the toad retracts what remains of its' tongue. The toads' head rockets backwards as half a tongue slams into the back of its' throat. Taking advantage of the distraction, I close the distance between us. As I close in the toad lowers its' head, mouth opening as it attempts to swallow me whole, I grasp its forehead to gain purchase against its slippery flesh, tightening my grip I vault over the toads' head piercing its' point of death before landing on my feet. I listen with a satisfied smirk as the toad crashes loudly into the dirt. With practiced ease I replace my blindfold in a single motion before turning to greet Kazuma and Megumin.

"Alright then, are you guys ready to head back?"

"Hey, why're you acting all nonchalant about that, what, are you the main character or something? What am I supposed to be then? Am I just going to sit in the background while all the girls have romantic hijinks with you?"

I wait patiently as Kazuma grumbles under his breath before politely coughing to get his attention. He lets out a put-upon sigh before addressing my question.

"Apparently this girl can't move after using a single spell, so someone needs to carry her…"

"I see, I'm feeling a little lightheaded after all of that fighting, I hadn't mentioned this before, but I sometimes suffer fainting spells…" Yeah, that's what's happening. It has nothing to do with uniquely disgusting smell of toad mucus or the audible squelch Megumin makes when Kazuma eventually picks her up.

/-/

"120,000… split between three people, that comes to around 30,000 Eris each… I nearly died for a reward of 30,000." Kazuma says after a moment of silence.

"Well it was a beginner quest and when you think about it four people taking an entire day to kill nine toads is never going to pay out that much."

"Easy for you to say moneybags, you have a princess paying your bills, who's paying mine huh! Where's my ojou-sama!"

"Hey, she wasn't paying all my bills for me" that would be my sister " ̶ and what kind of self-respecting man wants to live off someone else's efforts." Sorry Akiha, I'll make it up to you.

"This one! This one right here!"

What kind of person says that, where's his shame? Honestly he's talking like some kind of shut in. I'd been considering offering them some of the reward from the 'rookie killer' when I realised how we'd earned, that was until Kazuma spent ten minutes complaining that he needs drinking money and whining that he wants someone else pay his bills, after that I thought better of it.

"Hey Tohno, while we're talking… WHY THE HELL DID YOU ABANDON ME OUT THERE!?"

"During the battle?"

"Not then. Why did you suddenly disappear when that explosion freak started spreading rumours about me only to reappear to collect your reward? Not only am I stuck with someone who can only use one spell a day, now women everywhere think I'm a pervert!"

"Eh ̶ you're not!"

"… That's not funny. Because you skulked away your reputations fine while mine's in the gutter, where's the justice? Why do people only think I'm a pervert? Why do you get to be spotless?"

"I think you just answered your own question Kazuma. I'll admit it's as you've said. Faced with a complicated situation I wisely chose to leave this task in the hands of a capable party leader."

"Don't just call me that when your shifting problems onto me."

"When else would I call you that?"

It seems like there's something else bothering him, I can hear him tapping his foot erratically beneath the table. This better not be about my part of the reward, I'm already working for pocket change as it is.

"If you ask to keep my part of the reward money, we will have a problem." I say.

"Huh, what's with the sudden distrust?"

"Well you've been working up the nerve to say something for the last few minutes and Aqua did say you were stingy…"

"What's that idiot saying behind my back! Anyway, that's not what I wanted to ask you. Tohno can I see your 'cheat item'"

I slowly reach into my pockets retrieving the compass and the instructions that came with it. Both are placed down on the table in front of Kazuma, I move my right hand away from the note and but keep my left hand atop the compass.

"Hey, you're acting way too suspicious… you can put them away now." As he speaks I imagine him waving a hand dismissively at the magic artefact.

"So… what was that about?"

"I wanted to confirm that you had the item you told me about earlier before asking my next question. Tohno, how did you kill those toads so easily?"

He continues speaking before I can start making excuses.

"Even if your level's higher than you said those attacks shouldn't have killed them so quickly. If that compass is your 'cheat item' then why was Aqua talking about your 'disgusting eyes' and why did she say that your blindfold's protecting ̶ "

"Alright, alright let me explain myself. Geez where was this perceptiveness when you were getting blackmailed by a thirteen-year-old. Hmm… It'll be easier if I just show you."

Kazuma waits patiently as I step outside returning moments later with a stone about the size of my fist. I sit down before removing my blindfold to examine it, I see six pieces of stone held together by a network of black lines. After finishing my examination, I look up at Kazuma seeing him properly for the first time. His bright tracksuit looks completely out of place in this setting, is that how people dress in the future?

I restrain a sigh when I start to examine him more closely. I'm sure he looks normal enough, probably not very handsome or particularly ugly. A perfectly normal boy with no unique features… all I can see is a patchwork of skin and cloth sewn together in the shape of a person. Needless to say, it's not a very pleasant sight.

"Hey what's with that look? Are you looking at trash? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"No… at least I don't think so… you see this rock?" I hold it up to give him a chance to inspect it.

"Kazuma, everything in existence has an end. There are differences to when, but it's an end nonetheless. Death does not 'arrive'. It is already contained within the object at its creation, and it's bound to happen someday." I recite the explanation Arcueid gave me pausing momentarily to give Kazuma an opportunity to ask any questions, he nods for me to continue.

Casually tossing the stone into the air I sever its' lines of death, continuing its descent uninterrupted it strikes the table and separates into six pieces. The divisions are too smooth and far too perfect to be the result of natural causes.

"If you cut a living being's neck it dies, conversely if you can't cut somethings neck, it won't die. What I'm do is different, ignoring all protections and immunities I kill first. It's an ability I picked up long before I came here."

"How could you learn something like that back in Japan?"

"Oh, I suppose you wouldn't know, magic exists in our world too." I offer him a polite smile, he doesn't return it instead staring at me dumbfounded. He looks ready to ask me a lot of questions before something over my shoulder catches his attention.

"I'm here about the recruitment poster. Ah, I didn't mean to interrupt… you're not going to… haah… scold me in front of this man are you."

The blond-haired knight is addressing a stunned Kazuma, before he can respond I stand up and offer her a friendly smile.

"The recruitment poster? Kazuma here's the one you'll want to speak to about that. I'm going to turn in for the night… have fun you two." Winking at Kazuma I replace my blindfold and saunter away from the conversation, once more leaving a complicated situation in the hands of the capable party leader.

"Wait, Tohno I still need to ask you for dating advice! I want to meet a beautiful noble girl who can pay my bills for me!"

/-/

" _Our contract is established."_

 _She extended a hand down towards me._

" _I guess I can finally introduce myself now. I'm Arcueid_ _̶_ _hmm… my last name is really long, so just Arcueid is fine for now. I'm a True Ancestor type vampire. How about you?"_

 _I'd already accepted my nonsensical situation, even then that airhead still managed to elicit a sigh with her unprecedented introduction._

" _I'm Shiki Tohno. Sadly I'm just your everyday student… I've said it before, but I'm really not going to be much use."_

 _I grasped Arcueid's hand. She pulled me up effortlessly letting go of my hand once I was on my feet._

 _She took a long hard look at me before she offered her hand again._

" _Nice to meet you Shiki. I'll have you take responsibility for killing me."_

 _She somehow managed to grin while saying something so ominous._

/-/

… Sorry Kazuma any dating advice from me is liable to earn you jail time.

* * *

 **So was it worth the wait? I didn't think so either.**

 **Figured I'd mention that I'm planning to start writing these on a schedule so the next chapter is going to be posted on the 26th January, hopefully I'll "see" you then.**


	4. Chapter 4

**TF here with another chapter of this obscure crossover. I decided after finishing the previous chapter to include a few flashbacks in the story to help establish Arcueid a bit better, given that Shiki's going to be referencing her a lot. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

After our catastrophic second encounter I formed a contract with Arcueid. She'd demanded I take responsibility for killing her and in lieu of dying I agreed to become her shield. Of course, trying to use a normal student as a shield is a plan doomed to failure against a vampire. I couldn't understand why she thought I'd be any use against a monster like Chaos. To this day the answer to that question makes me uncomfortable.

/-/

" _But no matter how superb a killer, no matter how excellent your technique, the victim this time was a poor choice. I don't know how many you killed before now, but I it was time for you to be caught when you chose me as your prey." She'd said it so calmly. I didn't know how she could spout such nonsense with that serious expression._

 _I was stunned or perhaps it would be more accurate to say I was livid. We hadn't known each other for long at that point, it had only been a day, but even then, I was angry. How could she have spent all that time with me while thinking I was a killer?_

 _In hindsight I was being unfair. She was my first victim, if anyone had the right to call me a killer it was her._

" _What's with that scary face all of a sudden. If you want to say something, it's better to just say it. We've never held anything back between us, right?"_

 _She was right, even in our chaotic situation we were always honest with each other, or to put it simply I'd run my mouth off the whole time. It was quite easy to be like that with Arcueid, she didn't really hold grudges… well she didn't hold them against me. I can't really claim to share that trait. When the situation's bad enough I'm often surprised by how crude and petty I can be._

" _Hm? A secret?" Her serious expression disappeared as I motioned for her to come closer. She bounced towards me with a curious smile._

 _I used to find her random bouts of excitement strange, we'd nearly died the night before but here she was acting excited at the prospect of hearing a secret. I was still thinking of her as a vampire. It took a while for me to accept that contrary to her intimidating title she was just an easily distracted airhead, it took even longer for me to understand why seemingly arbitrary made her so happy._

 _I brought my mouth close to her ear and spoke in a hushed tone._

" _You know, Arcueid…"_

" _Yeah, what?"_

" _THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL, YOU IDIOT_ _̶_ _̶_ _!"_

" _Ow… Owie."_

/-/

It's funny how even that managed to become a fond memory with enough time. I guess that's what happens when you're separated from a loved one. When I think about it it's almost kind of funny, I'm pining for someone who I only knew for a few weeks. Even still she keeps springing to mind. I keep having little moments where I wonder how she'd react to this world. The answer to that one's pretty obvious, she'd love it, it's new and exciting, so of course she'd love it.

I stretch my arms and slide out of bed. Strolling over to the curtains I throw them open and flinch back as I'm startled awake by the midday sun. I've become too reliant on Hisui waking me up. If I'm not waking up to the familiar sight of her waiting statue-like by my bedside I seem to be waking up late into the day. I could probably afford to hire a maid with my current earnings, but Hisui can be surprisingly jealous when it comes to her work.

I've been living in this world for nearly a week. I need to find some leads but I don't know where to start. The people at the guild didn't have any information about other worlds, and they were my best chance in Axel. I've got enough funds to start searching further, but my knowledge of this world is limited. With no better plans available I've been thinking about searching for information in the capital.

Before I can visit the capital, I need to settle a few things in Axel. Kazuma's expecting me in the guild hall today, hopefully I'll bump into Chris too, I have enough Eris now, but ever since I earned enough to pay her back, she's vanished. Before any of that it's time to do the work of any diligent adventurer.

I've been putting it off for a while but it's time to allocate my unused skill points. Chris was kind enough to teach me how to pick up new skills after paying for my adventurer card. Looking at the 'Skills that can be learned' column I find a list of new abilities available to me. First, I should probably read through my listed skills, I haven't actually checked what I'm capable of yet. Chris did mention that I might have picked up a few skills before becoming an adventurer.

In my list of unlocked skills, I have 'Enemy detection' and 'Hide' which I purchased at Chris' suggestion. Beyond those two I have three skills which were unlocked from the beginning, 'Mystic Eyes of Death Perception' is listed on my card but it there isn't any description attached, 'Nanaya arts' is a skill which grants mastery with knives and 'Nanaya Instincts' grants the passive bonus of 'has a supernatural urge to kill non-humans'.

Looks like my adventurer card remembers my forgotten past as Shiki Nanaya better than I do. Akiha has explained her families' complex history with the now extinct Nanaya Clan before, but from my perspective they're just a group of killers that were wiped out. It may seem callous but it's hard to mourn the loss of a family you don't remember. To me all that exists of Shiki Nanaya is a knife, basic knowledge of the 'Nanaya arts' and the impulsive urge to kill non-humans. Considering their long history, It's quite a sad legacy for the forgotten clan of demon killers.

Moving on from the macabre subject of the Nanaya clan I look at the new skills available to me, as I read through the available skills it occurs to me that maybe I shouldn't have just chosen a thematically appropriate class. I'm level eight now and it's starting to bother me that most of these skills are based around increased damage or improving proficiency with knives, two of the only fields which I already excel in. Ignoring skills which won't be any help I count four skills worth purchasing. After acquiring all four of them I'm left with two unspent skill points.

Following the trend set by my previously purchases these new abilities seem more convenient than they do essential. After seeing the effectiveness of poisons in this world 'Poison Immunity' is an obvious choice but it isn't very proactive. 'Evasion' is a passive that increases my chances of avoiding magical attacks, it seems practical if a little vague. My other two abilities are more useful for traversing distances than fighting, 'Shadow step' lets me cross short distances instantly and 'Shadow run' is a buff that lets me run faster.

Before putting the card away, I examine my basic stats, my intelligence and wisdom have each gone up a point and my vitality's gone up by three, I can't say I feel any different, but it is only a small increase. On the other hand, my agility, dexterity and strength haven't increased at all, Chris did warn me that my agility and dexterity were already maxed out, but I had been hoping my strength would increase a little.

Sliding my adventurer card back in pocket I start to dress myself in the same clothes I've been wearing for the last few days, my shirt is still ripped from my fight with the 'rookie killer'. I really need to buy some new clothes. I'm not normally very concerned with my appearance, but I am reluctant to start dressing up like the inhabitants of this world, for one thing their clothes are very revealing, for another my current outfit is well suited to my fighting style. It would be fine if I could find clothes resembling my current outfit in this world but the materials here are either a lot heavier or offer far less protection than what I'm wearing now. It would be easy to find replacements if I was in Japan, but in this world my choices are an armoury or a tailor. Perhaps that shopkeeper can acquire a similar set for me, I've been looking for an opportunity to support the hapless shopkeeper after that uncomfortable first meeting so it's certainly worth a try.

I'll visit her on my way to the guild.

/-/

"C-customers… one moment I'll be right out!"

"No need to rush! Take care not to hurt yourself." I respond.

I wince at the sound of shattering glass as something is knocked to the floor, it sounds like she only knocked over a single potion this time.

"Oh Tohno-san it's you, I'm so happy, you're my first repeat customer… and my first customer this month… actually I think you're the only person that's bought anything here."

"R-right I was looking to request something specific, do you do custom orders?" Please do them I need to purchase something after hearing that.

"W-well we don't normally do anything like that but for my only customer I can make an exception, what were you looking for?"

"I was looking to get some light clothing made in the same style as what I'm wearing now. Can you maybe replicate them or find something similar or… well anything'll do, I can cover the costs."

"Hmm… well I do have an item in the back that can replicate materials ̶ "

"So convenient!"

"A-ah but its fuelled by high grade manatite so it would cost let's see… 200,000 Eris per copy"

I live in a mansion with two maids and even I can tell that's steep.

"… Alright then, I'll get… two more sets… yeah let's go with that."

"Tohno-san… are you sure that's wise… maybe, maybe I could offer you a discount?"

"Nope 400,000 here… you… go." I grit my teeth as I hand over the money. "Hah… so… do you need me to do anything?"

After receiving the payment Wiz ushers me into the stores' back room and asks me to wait while she locates the item. I stand completely still to avoid bumping into any of the unsold stock lying around me. Moments later she returns dragging something across the floor towards me.

"Found it! Okay Tohno I need you to strip." She said nonchalantly.

…

"A-Ah n-not like that, I need to put your clothes in the multiplication vessel."

"R-Right that makes sense…" From anyone else I'd think they were doing this on purpose.

I remove my jacket first, carefully placing my adventurer card, compass and knife on a surface to my right. With a sigh I then remove my trousers and shirt. As I remove each article the uncomfortable silence seems to deepen, after handing my clothes to a speechless Wiz we stand there in silence for what feels like a minute. Just as I start to wonder if we can ever speak to one another again, Wiz finally said something.

"Oh, your shirt's torn, I'll just repair it using magic, free of charge."

Oh, so there's a convenient spell to fix clothing but replicating my outfit requires me to strip.

Wiz chants something quietly to herself, whatever she's doing seems to require her to concentrate so I remain silent as she works. I wait for a full minute to pass after she finishes chanting before I speak up.

"So how long does this ̶ "

̶ DING

As I'm about to ask how long the process takes the multiplication vessel dings like a microwave. Who in this world could have known what a microwave sounds like and why did they make a magic item that sounds like one? I don't know, and I don't want to.

Wiz brings over three sets of clothing, placing two on the nearby surface I dress myself in the third set, well even if it's overpriced it's an impressive item. I can't even tell which set was the original. Whatever she did to fix my shirt proves to be just as effective, I can't find any signs of the previous tearing, there aren't even any stitches.

"Here you go Tohno-san your original clothes and two spare sets… I-if you need this service again please come back… b-but don't tell anyone else about this I can only do it for you. After all, you're my first…"

Customer… I'm your first customer.

I can feel my cheeks heating up at her words. Honestly, how is it possible for someone to be this naïve, she has to know what this sounds like, right? I haven't spoken for a while now, I probably need to say something.

"Th-Thanks Wiz… and for what it's worth I'm… I'm happy to be your first…"

Customer, damnit now I'm doing it, what the hell did I do to deserve this.

/-/

"Tohno, where have you been all day!? You just left after dropping that huge reveal in the first act! And somehow… YOU LEFT ME TO DEAL WITH ANOTHER WEIRD ONE… AGAIN!"

"Kazuma… to say such things in front of everyone… No, I can endure your scolding, so lecture me all you want, don't hold back… As a crusader suffering is a merit!" The weirdo in question said.

Oh, she's one of those, well if you think about it does make a certain amount sense, I mean taking hits would be a dream job for someone like her. Nodding sagely, I turn to face Kazuma.

"Kazuma I see, you're into this kind of thing."

"H-Hey don't say that so naturally, she just wants to join our party."

"Well you did say you needed more party members."

Turning to the crusader who's been making strange noises I offer my hand.

"Shiki Tohno, I'm an assassin, I'm sure you and Kazuma will be perfect together so please don't involve me in your relationship."

She takes my hand in a firm grip.

"Darkness, I'm the only orthodox vanguard in this party, I can be used as bait or as a shield, whichever Kazuma chooses. Please take care of me from now on… professionally."

"H-Hey, you two, stop talking like you've come to some kind of agreement."

Finding myself a seat next to Megumin I address Kazuma again.

"So anyway, have you found a new quest?" After the amount I just spent on spare clothes I could use the money.

Kazuma then related the quest we're going to take. At Darkness' suggestion we're going to try to raise Aqua's level by taking a quest to exterminate undead and a 'small fry zombie maker', I find it hard to consider anyone who can create undead 'small fry' but maybe they're less dangerous in this world. Whatever the case it seems like this should be a simple quest… with no complications… whatsoever.

/-/

"So Tohno, about yesterday…"

" ̶ Mmhmm, can you pass me those vegetables"

We're sitting around a hot plate near the local cemetery as we wait for the 'zombie maker' to show up. I was surprised by how nonchalant everyone's being about this but after the first ten minutes passed I started eating to pass the time. Someone places a plate of side vegetables in my outstretched hand. They have a fresh crunchy texture almost as though they were recently alive, it doesn't exactly match up to Kohaku's cooking ability but sometimes simple can be nice too.

"Tohno, tell me about the magic back home."

"Eh Kazuma, magic's everywhere in this world you know" Hearing Kazuma's strange sounding statement Megumin interjects with the common knowledge of this world.

"Not where we're from." Kazuma said.

"Nah she's right, we have magic back home, it's different but it exists. You don't know about it because people have been keeping it a secret for centuries. Right Aqua?"

"Don't make it sound like I'm the one hiding things. Hey, Kazuma don't look at me like that you should be praising me. Earth is a safe world where there aren't any dangerous monsters so why would people need to know about magic. My world is a safe one where you grew up without worries so you should praise me more."

Maybe letting this goddess explain things was a mistake.

"Kazuma, Kazuma do you ̶ "

"Yes, I'm Kazuma."

" ̶ want to hear about 'The Twenty-eight Dead Apostle Ancestors'?"

…

"Eh… wait don't talk about them, it's not my fault I delegated them to one of my subordinates, she's the one who let them get like that, don't tell him about them." Aqua sounds panicked.

"… So, they're a group of vampires and other phantasmal beasts that have been threatening humanities' existence for over four thousand years, we've been ranking them based on how much of danger they pose to humanity."

…

"You useless goddess what was that about safety? Were you too busy doing party tricks to do anything about the twenty-eight different monsters? Is this it, is this the mouth that's been telling me to praise you?"

I can hear Aqua start to fight back as he rants, before long the two of them are wrestling on the ground. Taking advantage of the distraction, I retrieve more meat from the hot plate and settle down to continue my meal undisturbed. As the foolish notion passes through my mind someone sidles up next to me and taps my shoulder.

"Hey that doesn't sound right, is magic really different where you come from? You still have explosion magic right?" Megumin said.

That's what's bothering you?

"Well it's not really explosion magic but I've been told that sensei's unmatched when it comes to destruction."

"'Unmatched' is your sensei looking down on explosion magic, nothing's better at destruction than explosions? Surely after seeing explosion magic first hand you can set her straight?"

"Well she's never actually heard of explosion magic, so I doubt she's been looking down on it. As for which is better well… someone did tell me a story about that once, let's see… so one-day sensei was looking for a high bounty target who had hidden himself away on a remote island. After looking around for a couple of minutes she tripped on a rock. She was so frustrated that she blew it up."

"The rock?"

"The island… and then the islands next to it. People have been calling her 'magic gunner' ever since."

"T-The whole island?" She sounds strangely hopeful, what does this girl have against islands.

"Not a trace left behind."

"Your sensei must use explosion magic; no other magic could cause such destruction… but even then, to destroy an island… I need her to teach me." She's saying some troublesome things, I doubt sensei would be willing take her as a student, it's also difficult to teach someone from another reality. Why did I start bragging about her again?

"Wind breath!" Ah, nice distraction Kazuma.

"Pu he ahh! Ah ̶ ! My eyes!" utilizing his new spell Kazuma overcomes the former goddess by throwing dirt in her eyes.

"So that's how you use this spell."

"Wrong that's not how normal people use it! Are all mages in Japan this weird?" As Kazuma delicately places the last straw on her back, Megumin snaps.

/-/

"… we will go back immediately if anything strange happens, understood?"

I nod along with the girls as Kazuma tries to impress some sense of danger on them. Based on my experiences with Megumin and Aqua so far, I doubt he's going to have much success. The party moves through the graveyard led by Kazuma, we've already agreed that he should lead from the front using 'enemy detection' to scan ahead. As the party moves forward I activate 'hide' and peel away from the group to circle around the cemetery and observe from a distance. Kazuma's asked me to hang back and watch over the others, if anyone gets in trouble I'll step in. My own 'enemy detection' is picking up a lot more enemies than we'd discussed before setting off. As long as we're still following Kazuma's plan then the main group should hold their position while I investigate from the shadows, of course ̶

"How dare you show up here, Lich! I will take care of you!"

̶ Aqua might do something stupid.

Grabbing at my blindfold I scramble to remove it before observing the situation. Strange, the 'Lich' Aqua is yelling at isn't showing up on 'enemy detection', I suppose she might not count if she isn't… hostile.

The 'lich' is desperately wrestling with Aqua in the middle of a magic circle and doesn't seem to be making any serious attempts to harm her.

"Stop, stop ̶ ! Who are you? Where did you come from and why are you destroying my magic circle? Stop! Could you please stop?"

Well… I guess I know what Wiz is now, apparently liches are pretty powerful so it makes sense that my 'Nanaya instincts' reacted to her when we first met. Activating 'Shadow Run' I dash across the cemetery, each step I take allows me to traverse large stretches of earth as I progress towards the struggling pair. I pass by the undead roaming aimlessly through the grounds, even without 'hide' up they make no move to stop me.

I reach the circle as Aqua gains the advantage in her struggle with a hapless shopkeeper. She's about to cast a spell.

" ̶ watch as I purify this whole cemetery along with you!"

"Eh? Wait, stop!"

Wiz sounds scared, she's not a party member but I did promise to step in if someone gets in any trouble.

"Shadow step."

For an instant my vision darkens as I'm consumed by the surrounding shadows. The instant passes and the shadows recede as I find myself standing between Wiz and Aqua.

"Turn undead ̶ !"

" ̶ Nope."

A dim light exudes from the goddess's body before vanishing. Nothing happens.

A white light doesn't engulf the cemetery. The undead roaming the grounds aren't swept away in a wave of divine magic. The shopkeeper with only a single customer isn't expunged from existence for the crime of being a lich.

"Eh! Turn undead!"

"Nope."

The moment she starts speaking I sever a line of death that appears in front of her. Her spell dissipates into nothingness as I kill it.

"… Turn undead! Turn undead! Turn undead! Turn undead!"

"Try again. Almost. So close. Denied!"

"Ahh…! That's annoying! How're you stopping me!?"

"Heh, don't underestimate me I'm the Tohno-san who made a true ancestor cry out 'Owie' by yelling in her ear, come back after you've levelled up a bit… go on shoo."

I say something stupid in an attempt to distract her, as expected the strange tangent confuses her long enough for Kazuma to arrive. As he pulls her off to the side to yell at her for causing problems again I help Wiz to her feet.

"Hello again Wiz that random hooligan wasn't bullying you, was she?"

"Ah Tohno-san thank you for saving me but… how did you stop her spell?"

"Oh yeah, that… would you believe me if I said she fumbled?"

Her eyes narrow at my weak excuse.

"O-Okay… well then thanks for making her "fumble" that spell."

"Y-Yeah… you're very welcome."

She's not buying that it at all. But at least she doesn't seem ready to press me for a proper answer. Glancing over at Kazuma it seems he's finished scolding the 'hooligan' for her recklessness, he'll probably have a few questions now that things have settled down. I have a bad feeling.

"Wiz, my friends have a few questions for you, you're not in any trouble, we just need a few answers, oh and could you try not to say anything… misleading."

Kazuma looks between Wiz and I for a few seconds before he speaks.

"Hey, do you two know each other?"

Wiz speaks up before I can. I know she doesn't have any ill will towards me and I doubt she was doing anything wrong, but my instincts are telling me this is a setup. If this were a comedy this would be the moment where she would cause a big misunderstanding, she'd say something like 'Ah… Shiki was my first' and start blushing, then everyone else would start assuming something unreasonable.

"Yes, he's visited my shop before, Tohno-san was my first customer."

Oh… I guess I was mistaken ̶

"Y-You two were like that ̶ G-Gotta tell someone… that vampires' concubine… he's a dirty cheater."

Aqua trembles with excitement as she searches the cemetery someone to gossip with. Why she expects to find anyone in a cemetery remains as incomprehensible as she does.

"How the hell did you misunderstand that!?" x 2

As we yell at the former something or other in tandem I experience a feeling I had forgotten since arriving in this world, camaraderie.

Kazuma, he understands.

/-/

"Tohno-san you need to watch your step."

As I had suspected this hapless lich was doing something selfless. Every night she's been helping the souls trapped in the cemetery move on, she really is too kind for her own good.

After Kazuma promised to have Aqua take over her duties Wiz agreed to leave the task to them. Kazuma's and the girls have gone to the guild to report that there was no zombie maker and to hide the lichs' involvement. Before they left I told Kazuma that I'd be escorting Wiz back to her shop on my way home.

I feel tired.

I've been getting carried away, the 'rookie killer' the 'giant toads' and now this, that's three battles in as many days. Most adventurers wouldn't be troubled by a few short battles but most of them haven't died from overexerting their eyes either.

It was hard to resist showing off a little, I arrived in this world with a fresh body, unconstrained by years of using these dreadful eyes, the chance to feel that powerful again was overwhelming, dizzying even.

But there's too many things to be done for me to waste time on a power trip. I need to see Arcueid again and I need to live long enough to find her. On the surface that seems like an easy task but between a demon king and the goddesses forcing me to fight him it looks like I'm destined to die in this world.

My concerning future is enough to give me a headache.

Wiz says something to me, but her words don't reach my ears, her voice is drowned out by the agonizingly loud beating of hammers at my ears. I recognise the familiar sensation as a pounding headache starts to interfere with my thoughts.

My heart beats loudly in my chest. My blood feels too thick as it churns slowly through my arteries, I lose all feeling in my extremities apart from the unpleasant sensation of my own gurgling blood.

My usual anaemia follows soon after. I'm sure Wiz's saying something now, but I can't make out the words. I can't breathe either.

The sounds of ragged breaths reach me, I belatedly realise that the sounds are my own as my chest burns and my lungs heave as they try to gather air.

Eventually my breathing stabilises.

As I'm left with a headache and the lingering warning that I need to stop relying on my eyes it occurs to me that I must've fallen to my hands and knees. Feeling returns to my extremities, my hands a pressed up against coarse stone, a hot sensation in my palms informs me that I've scraped then against the road.

"Tohno-san?"

"Nothing to worry about… I'm just feeling a little faint."

"You should take better care of yourself."

With a surprisingly stern voice the former human starts lecturing me on my health. Taking my right arm, she pulls me to my feet with surprising strength. Once I'm standing she instructs me to lean on her shoulder in a voice that offers no choice in the matter. I don't know why me falling over is enough to elicit this sort of reaction from her when an attacking goddess only warranted her usual limp protests. While we continue walking she speaks up again sounding more self-assured than I've ever heard her before.

"I'm not sure how you stopped her from casting that spell… but whatever you did it's affecting your health. Please don't do those kinds of things on my account."

"It's not as bad as it looks, I overdid it tonight, but I'll be fine after I get some sleep."

"I-I don't think you can just sleep this off, you're dying from overexertion."

"I can't exert myself if I'm sleeping." I smile gingerly under what I imagine to be an intense glare.

"That not enough mister, I've seen adventurers marked with 'Premonition of Death' who looked healthier than you do."

She's grinding her teeth at that last part, I guess I must have hit a nerve. We continue walking in silence for a few more minutes before coming to a stop outside the door of her shop, I try to extricate myself from her hoping that I can hide my dizziness until she goes inside. She keeps a firm hold of my arm.

"Wiz, I think we're at your shop."

"We are but… it's late and you shouldn't be walking home by yourself… Tohno-san… w-would you like to come in?"

I feel my cheeks start to redden as Wiz invites me into her shop. Why does she sound so self-conscious now?

She's doing this deliberately isn't she!

* * *

 **And that's the end of the chapter. So figured I'd mention a couple of things here, firstly in case anyone noticed, there's technically 27 dead apostle ancestors, Roa is the unofficial 28th member. I decided that I liked the idea of Shiki adopting Arcueids' habit of counting Roa. Additionally the story Shiki told Megumin was based on a story shared by Shirou in "Hill of Swords" by Gabriel Blessing, it was the first crossover I've read on this site and like all of my favourite stories it has an ending.**

 **So on that note I'm going to be posting the next chapter on the 2nd February.**

 **Thanks again for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**TF here, I thought that seeing as how I've gotten a few reviews now I might take a little time to respond to them in the authors notes. Feel free to skip ahead if you're not interested in that.**

 **So firstly thanks to anyone who's reviewed, even general opinions are very helpful when I'm trying to improve my story telling and it helps to know how these things look without foreknowledge of what will happen later.**

 **Kyo mentioned the interaction between Wiz and Shiki, I really appreciate the positive response, I was initially a little reluctant to spend so much time on a supporting character but after writing the first few scenes I found that I really liked her character and I'm happy with how their interactions turned out. While I will be focusing on her more in this story she still won't be going out on many adventurers, there is an important reason she doesn't get too involved in Konosuba's main plot after all, she's really overpowered.**

 **Swordalfgun mentioned a few potential ways for Shiki's mystic eyes to develop into a less harmful ability. It occurs to me that quite a few readers may be interested in the general question of whether Shiki's mystic eyes will be fixed or whether he'll receive any power-ups from the stat system in Konosuba. I can certainly see the appeal of both of those ideas and the reasoning Swordalfgun offered for removing the problems with Shiki's mystic eyes would work as an explanation. That said I think that removing the threat it poses to his life would undermine one of the main dangers in this story and while I'm willing to give him a few convenience abilities in keeping with Konosuba's setting I'm reluctant to make major changes to Shiki's skillset and stats. In terms of strength I think he's a surprisingly good fit for Konosuba's demon generals.**

* * *

"Arcueid… no… I'll call you the lyrical vampire from now on… so stop… hitting."

"… Tohno-san?"

Oh right, people don't have health bars. Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by a low ceiling in a cramped room, the rooms' only other occupant peers nervously at me from the entrance. Right I agreed to stay at Wiz's shop overnight. Well agreed is a stretch, after recovering from her awkwardly phrased question Wiz quickly pushed me through the door and ordered me to rest in the back.

Ignoring my protesting body, I sit up in the bed. Looking down I find myself fully dressed, much to my relief. I find my blindfold, knife and compass on the night stand. Rewrapping my eyes and pocketing my belongings I nervously address Wiz.

"Thanks for letting me rest here, but er… where did you sleep last night?"

"O-Oh well by the time we arrived back it was nearly time to open up, so I've just been tidying up in the shop. It's nearly four in the afternoon."

"It's already that late? Are you sure you have time to be checking in on me?"

"Ah… well there haven't been any customers… so…"

Ah, I said something cruel. The lich quickly recovers from her momentary depression and invites me to have tea with her, without any reason to refuse I join her at a small table located on the shop floor. We spoke for a while about meaningless things, she even coaxes me into exchanging a few stories of past adventures. I can't help but notice that all of her stories happened before she became a Lich. As a former archwizard leading a powerful party she has quite a few exotic tales to tell. In exchange I tell her a few creatively remembered stories from my time hunting dead apostles.

After my time with Arcueid ended I set out to find Castle Brunestud eager to wake her from her well-earned rest. I'd like to describe our romantic reunion but finding castles located outside of reality requires resources and information. Using Akiha's connections I established myself as a mercenary specialising in dead apostle hunts. I was able to form connections within the Demon Hunter Organisation and the Church respectively, both were quite eager to recruit me after learning about my battle with Chaos. I've been working in the profession for just over a year now, I haven't made any progress in my hunt for Arcueid but I have managed to acquire a few embarrassing titles. I mean 'Killer Demon', really?

After exchanging stories for a while she speaks in that stern tone again.

"I'm not going to force you to tell me why you nearly died of exertion last night, or why you've managed to recover by sleeping it off. But you need to take some time off from adventuring. If you keep forcing yourself on quests after this, I'll force you into bed myself."

"Wiz… I'll be fine as long as the blindfold stays on, besides it's not like I can get work elsewhere I need to wear a blindfold all the time."

"W-Well then you can work here, my friend is always telling me to hire a shop assistant. He's always saying I need someone competent watching the store."

"Setting aside my ability to 'watch' anything, can you even afford to hire me?"

"I-I can't pay you in eris… but… I can give you items that you can sell on elsewhere."

"Wiz that… might work actually, do you have anything that could sell in the capital?"

"I have lots of useful items that could sell anywhere… like this one right here."

Is she doing this on purpose. After waiting a few seconds, it becomes clear she's waiting for a response to whatever it is she's trying to show me.

"Wiz, I can't see what you're holding."

"Oh right… It's an item that produces detailed portraits from the memories of the user. It's an excellent way to make keepsakes of those special moments…"

What's the catch?

"Why hasn't it been sold?"

"W-Well, it also causes the user to forget all memories from the day depicted in the portrait."

"…Who wants a keepsake of something they can't remember?"

"Ah… well I also have… lots of high grade manatite, it's a valuable high-level item that can be used to power magic items… but nobody in axel can afford it."

"Then why did you buy it?"

"I-I got a discount when I bought it in bulk, I've been hoping a passing archwizard would buy it one day…"

I thought this was a magic shop why are you selling punchlines?

"… okay, well I can probably sell some in the capital, you can pay me from the profits."

"Excellent, Tohno-san your hired… s-so I haven't actually slept since last night… can you ̶ "

"Go rest in the back I'll keep an 'eye' on the shop."

"Ok then I'll leave you to it." She called back, staggering towards the back room.

Leaving a blindfolded young man, you met a couple of days ago to look after a shop filled with dangerous magic items, what could possibly go wrong?

/-/

"This is a disaster what are we supposed to do now?"

Surprisingly everything was fine, no one comes to the shop and compared to the clumsy storeowner I'm quite adept at navigating through spaces without knocking anything over, it's been business as usual for the last week. I'm manning the counter again today, Wiz is in the back-organising stock into malfunctioning items and items that no one can afford. I'm planning to take only the overpriced stock to the capital to sell off to wealthier merchants. I still don't know how to get rid of all the niche magic items she buys.

"Hey, don't space out we've got big problems!" Kazuma said.

"Well in fairness I'm doing quite well. I've got a nice little position as a shop assistant and I'm even planning a trip to the capital soon."

"Fine, I've got big problems! With that demon general living nearby there are no low-level quests to complete. I'm already covered until they can get rid of that guy, but I need to find another job for that no-good goddess who can't keep work in a bakery. Hey, do you think she could work ̶ "

"No."

"Fine, I'll just have to palm her off on some unsuspecting patsy."

"Wiz won't hire her either."

"Damn."

A dullahan has recently moved in nearby, from what I've heard he's some big shot general that it would be best to avoid. Kazuma's here at the usual time to complain about the lack of work in between his long strolls in the countryside with Megumin.

With the lack of adventurer work here I've decided to visit the capital with as many expensive items as I can carry. Wiz sacrificed her memories of a recent visit to the capital to provide me with an accurate image after I told her about my artefact. Like many things I've acquired in this world the best word to describe my artefact is convenient, all my 'cheat item' does is save me time spent travelling and even then, it requires me to meet several conditions to use. I need to know what the location looks like, I need to say where I want to go aloud, and it can't be used in a fight, why would they include that limitation?

My 'cheat item' is way too fair!

I should probably pay attention to what Kazuma's saying he's been talking this whole time.

" ̶ so after Darkness scared the Dullahan off with her perverted fantasies Aqua ruined my dramatic moment by removing the death curse on Darkness. Long story short Megumin is going to stop blowing up the that guy's castle."

"… I see." I didn't, but I think the best thing I can do is stay out of this one.

"So Tohno, why do you want to visit the capital?"

"Oh, I'm looking for information on returning to our world, I'm going to start searching for leads there."

"That sounds so adventurer like, going tavern to tavern in search of side quests. If you are looking for leads I just met some guy from our world, it's actually why I came in here. I'm looking to sell his cheat sword. It's sharper than a regular sword and when he uses it he gets a strength boost."

Sounds like I can sell it back to the original owner at quite the premium, he'll be completely reliant on it after all. I may not have been a merchant in my last life but I was taught by the head of the Tohno family herself. Schooling my features, I address Kazuma.

"Doesn't sound like a very good 'cheat item', it's no use to anyone other than him. Well, I suppose I can take it off your hands. I don't have much in the way of currency at the moment… how about I trade you some high-level items for it. I can give you some rare potions and a few unique items that could help you cheat your way through a fight."

"Hey why are you suddenly so serious, d-don't you want to hear how I got the guy's cheat sword? Also do you have anything good against dullahans?"

"Yes, we do, why don't you tell me about your 'battle' after I find you some items."

I immediately set about collecting some of the niche items that aren't cost effective enough to sell alongside some high-level potions which would be risky for me to carry around. After consulting Wiz, I return with several potions which explode when exposed to air, a cloak which protects against curses but only if the wearer begs on their knees and a sword which lights undead on fire but burns the users' hands if they have impure thoughts. That last one would be a fine item if the sword didn't consider violent thoughts impure.

After Kazuma agrees to the trade he regales Wiz and I with the tale of him using 'steal' to take his opponents' sword before knocking him unconscious with the stolen weapon, after achieving victory Kazuma heroically brought the weapon here to pawn it off. As impressive as it is to beat a high-level adventurer, didn't he just rob a man in the streets, knock him out and sell his valuables.

Maybe I should be more careful in my choice in companions.

/-/

It takes a few hours for the desperate swordsman who was robbed by a low-level adventurer to find us, he immediately barged in demanding his sword be returned to its rightful owner. I was working out back when he arrived, the chivalrous hero wasted no time harassing Wiz. He didn't even plan to pay for it.

I suppose I should be angry that he tried to intimidate her but with Wiz too nervous to speak up this next part becomes far easier.

She really is too nice to run a business out here. Thankfully I learned everything I need to know about negotiation from Akiha Tohno, the scariest little sister a brother could have.

" ̶ I'm the chosen hero destined to defeat the demon king, you must understand that without that sword, the world is doomed." The mark said.

"Sir I understand your concerns, but this sword was acquired through a legitimate trade, we'd be happy to return it to you, but we'd need to be… reimbursed for the cost…" I replied.

Firstly, offer an explanation. Even if it isn't required, it establishes my right to an exchange.

"… I understand, I suppose it can't be helped, how much do you want for it?"

"How much are you carrying?"

"Eh!" x 3

Both the hero and his two companions sound unimpressed, I might have been a little too blunt.

"Well after learning of its' history I spent all this stores' profits on your fine blade."

"You must realize that this sword cannot be properly used by anyone other than myself, no one else will pay for it." With those conceited words the mark promptly stepped into my trap.

Next step establish pressure, the more pressure the poorer the marks decision making becomes.

"Of course, after realizing my mistake I've spoken to a blacksmith, it won't recover all our losses but selling ingots made from this sword will still go a long way to ̶ "

A loud thud echoes through the room as he promptly empties his funds onto the counter. Now I just need to know how much he just dropped.

After subtly consulting Wiz on whether the amount is reasonable I decide to accept the deal. It's apparently a reasonable amount and should be enough to keep the shop out of the red this month.

It's then that one of his companions speaks up in protest.

"Hey! This is robbery, I'd like to see you try and find customers after we tell everyone what kind of shady dealings this stores' owner gets up to."

Jokes on you, I'm not the store owner and we don't have any customers. That said I can't let that blatant threat slide.

"I see, I see… well I'm afraid my assistant here has confirmed that the funds before me won't be enough, say good sir… how much are your companions' weapons worth?"

"What!?" x 4

It seems even Wiz was blindsided by that one.

"It would truly be a shame to melt down this fine blade…" I said with false sincerity.

The sounds of his companions aggressively slamming their weapons on the counter is music to my ears.

"That's enough right, we don't have anything else to offer, this is certainly enough to recoup your losses." The mark pleads.

"It would be if your companions hadn't just damaged my counter… well I am a quite soft-hearted and I can see that you've grown quite attached to this sword… throw in your armour and we have a deal."

/-/

After robbing ̶ I mean helping the hero on his journey I did my best to reassure a panicking Wiz that we aren't criminals. The hero who dresses like a civilian now, rushed back to the capital to replace his armour and collect the funds he has stored there. With his plight in mind I decide to bring his set of fancy armour with me to the capital, maybe I'll be able to sell it back to him.

Wiz and I have spent the morning packing items for me to sell in the capital, I've left her with strict instructions not to buy any new stock until we move some of this old stuff, she's strangely willing to treat me like I'm the one in charge.

I'd always wanted to try working part-time in a shop before I was embroiled in the chaotic world of dead apostle hunting. If nothing else I'm grateful to Wiz for letting me live out my dream of a normal life even if it only lasted a week or so. Before coming to this world I'd been chasing Arcuied non-stop, so it's been nice to take a rest even if was forced on me. Speaking of Wiz she's been silent for the last few minutes.

"Hey Wiz you're not still worried about that hero, are you?"

"N-No… well I am but… Tohno-san, you know that you're not going to last much longer… don't you?"

"…I'm distinctly aware of my mortality Wiz."

"Then why be an adventurer, it's dangerous enough work for most, but if you keep at it won't you…?"

"Die… I will, but that's in the future. Right now, there's someone I want to see again, so rest assured I won't die until then… well even if I did I'm sure I could find my way back."

"And after that?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

Gathering up the rucksack full of manatite and the expensive set of armour I stagger to my feet. nearly tripping before Wiz catches me. We're in the back room of the shop, I'd been planning on leaving late last night, but Wiz insisted on seeing me off this morning.

"Take care Wiz, if anyone bullies you let me know I'll come handle it."

"Tohno-san! I'm a grown woman, I don't need you to fight my battles for me."

"Sure, sure… just remember…"

"… I'll keep it in mind. I can handle this, this time I'll show you what I'm really capable of."

Opening the compass in my outstretched hand and focusing on the image of the capital provided by Wiz I say the name of my destination.

"The capital."

Funnily enough I still don't know its' actual name.

/-/

Well it definitely worked, how can I tell, the air smells different and the temperature just dropped ten degrees. If this were a story, I'd probably wax lyrical for a few paragraphs about the beautiful city laid out before me, maybe describe the locals in terms that contrasted the people in Axel.

So anyway, I approach the front gate and a pair of guards who seem strangely unaffected by my sudden appearance. All talk of identification and security searches stop when I mention I'm an adventurer and I'm allowed straight through the main gate. Apparently, adventurers are regularly teleporting to the main gate and entering the city in a hurry, so the security is pretty lax for us. In the guards' defence they did check my adventurer card before they let me in.

I'm only a few steps through the main gate before I'm overwhelmed by the cacophony of noise and movement that is the capital. Every few seconds I'm knocked aside by a passer-by as I search for a merchant. I'm doing my best to walk towards a voice yelling that they have high grade magic items for sale but trying to follow a voice in this place in this crowd is challenging.

After struggling through the crowd, I approach the man, based on his bragging he owns the shop behind him. His coarse voice marks him as in his late-fifties. After I ask to speak with him inside he lets me into the shop to negotiate. He briefly attempts to peddle some items before I tell him I'm looking to sell high grade manatite found close to the demon kings territory.

It was fortunate that the guards assumed my bags were filled with my party's supplies, from what I overheard the import fees on high-level items is quite high for travelling merchants. Wiz told me that she bought the manatite at a good price but hasn't been able to shift any because Axel is filled with low-level adventurers, if she's right then it should sell well here.

"So my boy, how many pieces are you looking to ̶ ?"

He cuts himself off as I dump a rucksack of manatite onto the counter.

"Where the hell did you find so much of this stuff"

"Ah… you know it was lying around unguarded…"

"A rucksack's worth of high grade processed manatite was just lying around?" He sounds suspicious, he might be worried its stolen goods. I should distract him with a profit margin.

"… I'll sell it for eighty percent of the retail price."

"My boy, you're asking for far too much, I can't even be certain it'll sell. Who's going to buy this much manatite, I can give you forty percent."

He's lying, Wiz may not be a very good shop keeper, but she was an excellent adventurer. Manatite is popular with high level spell casters and as the guards just confirmed, the capital sees plenty of those. There's no risk for him.

"It can be stored for decades and high-level adventurers are constantly passing through here, it'll sell. But, if you're not confident in your ability to sell valuable items then I'm sure I can find someone who is…"

"Geez, I thought you were supposed to be an adventurer, those idiots are always willing to take the first offer they get. Fine, eighty's too much but I can give you sixty-five." He frustrated.

"Seventy-five."

"My boy…" Ignoring his haggard plea I move to gather up the manatite.

"Fine, fine seventy-five."

"Delightful, do you know anywhere that sells armour to high-level adventurers?"

/-/

I really don't think of myself as a merchant, I was only half listening when Akiha taught me how to barter and she only taught me the basics. She didn't really think it was necessary, as her brother I could have lived an easy life at the mansion and she didn't need any help covering our expenses. She never really did forgive me for taking up dead apostle hunting as a career. She helped me get in contact with a few groups but only because she was worried that I would die fighting dead apostles on my own.

Oops.

Nevertheless, in a world without any formal lessons on bartering even the basics are valuable. It still doesn't justify why I've had such an easy time with this though. Maybe my disposition is finally proving useful, people do tend to find me unnerving.

I hadn't actually noticed until Arihiko pointed it out, but most people tend to be uncomfortable around me. Arihiko said that it was because of my attitude towards death, I was always closer to dying than most and to those who're afraid of death I'm something of an omen. My ability to react to my surroundings with a blindfold on probably doesn't help with the whole creepy vibe either.

I'm about to arrive at the blacksmith recommended to me by the merchant, having sold off all my manatite to the magic shop owner I just need to sell off the armour of the idiot hero who harasses shopkeepers. Following the clanging noises of the blacksmiths' tools I enter the blacksmiths' forge. As I approach I can hear a shrill voice making unreasonable demands, I don't know why but something about the way this girl is demanding that the blacksmith 'aid the chosen hero in his time of need' ticks me off.

"You don't understand we need him to ̶ Eek! You! You're that insidious thief who robbed Kyouya!" She said.

That last part was definitely directed at me, what does she mean by robbed? Oh, I remember she's a member of that guys' harem, the same one that tried to threaten me if memory serves.

"Robbed!? I graciously returned his lost sword!"

"In exchange for his armour and every penny he had."

"… Don't forget about your weapons, the blacksmith paid well for those."

"You sold them! Those were a gift from Kyouya!"

"If he pays for the replacements then those can be gifts as well. Anyway, you were looking to acquire some armour for him right."

"…Yes, what's it to you?"

"Such suspicion, I was just going to offer to return your boyfriends perfectly fitted armour to you… for a price."

"As if I'd trust a shady guy like you."

"Geez, I guess you don't care about impressing this Kyoya fellow after all."

"W-What do you mean, y-you scoundrel?

"Well it's just that if you were the one to recover his armour I bet he would have lavished you with praise. Well, perhaps that warrior girl he hangs around with will buy it for him?"

"… How much do you want?"

I really need to thank Akiha for those lessons when I get back, it's no wonder we can afford two live in maids.

/-/

It's nearly midnight as I prowl the deserted streets of the capital, after extorting a 'maiden in love' for the contents of her wallet I got to talking with the blacksmith she had been harassing. I had expected him to be annoyed about losing a sale but after hearing all of her unreasonable demands the blacksmith was relieved to see her go. While we were talking I asked him if there was anyone in the area who dealt in information, to my surprise he recommended a local seer.

Apparently in this world there are legitimate seers who can see visions of the past, present and future. They harness this immense power to answer peoples' questions for a small fee. According to the blacksmith the one I'm about to visit is popular with young men and women searching for love, he was telling me that he met his fiancé after following this seers' advice.

The only problem with this seer is that they're a pain to find, they will only appear to a single person at a time and they can only be sought out on oddly numbered days after midnight. To call them to me I need to walk into a small alleyway located next to a shop which sells sex toys and yell out an embarrassing secret. I get the feeling this may be an elaborate prank, but this is the best lead I've gotten so far. I've already asked around and perhaps unsurprisingly merchants and bartenders don't know anything about other worlds.

Turning into the small alleyway I peek from under my blindfold. As far as I can tell there's nobody here. Well then… let's get this over with.

"I USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON AN OLDER GIRL WHO I CALLED SENSEI."

…

Nothing happened.

This was a waste of time. What the hell am I even doing here? There's no such thing as seers. I shouldn't be wasting my time on stupid ideas like this. If I don't find anything useful tonight then I'll be arriving in Axel tomorrow with nothing to show for my efforts, well apart from all the Eris I made.

"Haah, well, at least Wiz will be able to turn a profit this month."

"Wahahahahahaha! You are too careless boy! You have underestimated the special ability of that hapless shopkeeper! Moi will offer you this prediction, you will return to Axel to find that your guileless lich has been taken in by the words of a passing conman. Huff, huff." He sounds out of breath, what did he run here?

"What kind of introduction is that? And what was that about a conman?"

"Moi was making a brick joke, boy whose sister has weirdly romantic feelings for him."

"Hey sh-shutup!"

"Oh my, such a swell of dark emotions, it seems this boy is not as oblivious to his sisters' feelings as he pretends. Most savoury!"

"Oi, are you the seer who can answer any question?"

"Is that what people are calling Moi, the idiots in this town have only been asking Moi questions about their love lives. Moi have just been giving them simple romance advice."

"…I don't need your romance advice."

"Oh, is that so? You, boy who worries whether your vampire girlfriend would be angry if she knew about the lich you've been spending time with, you should know that the princess is willing to share you with another, but you must be willing to share too."

"Really she'd be open to that ̶ ? Wait no I'm not here for that. I need you to tell me how to find someone."

"Very well, Moi was willing to do that from the start, you see boy, Moi have come to this place to give you the leads and vague hints you seek."

"… Can you not just give me straight answers?"

"Moi cannot see the fun in that. Listen well boy who is too aggressive in the bedroom ̶ "

"What's with all the romance advice?"

"Because Moi can see that you need it. Now then, Moi will offer you this clue: If Millennium Castle Brunestud is where ye seek, the interest of a devil you must pique."

After delivering his clue the strange man makes no move to leave nor does he elaborate on his words.

"… isn't this the part where you mysteriously vanish."

"Moi would not stoop so low as to vanish before a blind boy, Moi will leave this place with dignity befitting of Moi station…"

Before I can ask him what he means the strange man sprints out of the alleyway leaving only an eccentric laugh in his wake.

Well… that was a thing.

He knew about Arcueid and he knew what I was looking for before I asked so I doubt he's faking it, not to mention it's the only lead I've got.

I need to gain the interest of a devil then. I'll have to keep an eye out for any around Axel, it wouldn't hurt to investigate any famous devils while I'm at it. It seems troublesome to keep them alive though, if I need to gain their favour then I doubt fighting them will help.

I could try searching the capital for one but it's unlikely any could live this close to the royal family and their guards without drawing attention. I'll return to Axel tomorrow to begin my search.

I'll need to ask Wiz whether she knows anything.

/-/

"I'm back."

"Welcome back Tohno-san."

I greet Wiz with a smile upon my return. It's good to be back, I show her the profits we made in the city. She promises me that nobody's given her trouble while I'm away. Hastening out of the backroom we talk at the small table located in the shop. She seems excited to show me something.

"So Tohno-san I know you said not to buy any new stock, but a man came by while you were away and offered us an exciting opportunity…"

Oh no.

"He said that they'd discovered a miracle potion that all the other shops want to get their hands on, it's able to heal any wound just like a priest, it can even be used to heal an undead! He said that we should buy in it bulk now before the price goes up, I wanted to wait for you to get back, but he said it was a limited time offer."

"I'll bet he did."

"I was going to turn him down but then I thought about all the hard work you've put into this store. If the store earns more money I might be able to pay you properly. He's already left but the potions have just been delivered, here let me show you."

The potion bottles were filled with water.

I promised a crying Wiz that I'll do what I can to track the conman down as she repeatedly apologises for the confusion, she still thinks this was all just a big mix-up. I don't have the heart to break it to her. Well it's not like I can't fix this, I just need to track the man down and threaten him for the money Wiz gave him. At least I'm here to make sure things don't get worse.

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare all your equipment and gather at the town's main gate ready for battle ̶ !"

As emergency broadcast goes off Wiz recovers from her dismal state positioning herself in front of the door to the shop

"T-Tohno-san, I'm sorry but I can't let you go out there."

Who the hell wants romantic advice? Why the hell didn't that seer warn me about any of this!?

* * *

 **So that's the chapter. Boy, these keep getting longer and longer... they're wasting more of your time.**

 **So I thought with the chapter over I'd talk about the headless knight in the room, Beldia, I will be calling him Beldia by the way, wasn't actually going to be fought by Shiki in my first draft. I was planning on having the fight follow canon and for Shiki to arrive in the aftermath. In the end I was dissuaded from this bad idea when I read a review left by Ryo which mentioned how strong Shiki's mystic eyes were. Upon reading the comment I suddenly realized that I forgot to establish the demon generals as a threat to him, they are by the way. The Beldia fight isn't going to be a easy win (spoilers, I guess), after all if he can take the demon generals with ease why avoid fighting the demon king?**

 **Long story short it's very easy for inexperienced writers to miss very important details... like the need to establish threats properly, or spelling mistakes so if you spot something amiss feel free to call me on it, I could use the heads up.**

 **Thanks again for stopping by, the next chapter will be out 9th February.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hiya TF here again, with a pretty self explanatory chapter, it's time for the Beldia fight, I thought I'd answer a couple of questions from the reviews now so feel free to skip ahead if you're not interested in that.**

 **So two questions I wanted to answer here, will Shiki get his own party members? and will we get to see events from another characters point of view?**

 **The answer to both of these questions is ehhh kind of.**

 **In regards to my plans for Shiki I'm planning on having him tag along for a few of the main party's adventures but rather than just retell canon with some changes I wanted to have some points were he separates from the main characters to go on his own side plots with the supporting cast 'cough cough next arc'. So while he's not going to form his own party with everyone's favourite supporting characters we will get to see a few small adventures with some familiar faces 'cough cough Chris'.**

 **As for other characters POVs I do have some plans for that but I'll leave you with a coy wink for the time being.**

 **Thanks again for any feedback it's all unbelievable helpful.**

* * *

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare all your equipment and gather at the town's main gate ready for battle ̶ ! Especially Satou Kazuma-san and his companions, please head to the scene as soon as possible!"

As the concerningly specific call for aid blares through the town Wiz places herself between me and the door to the shop, unable to see her face I can only assume she's resolutely staring me down.

"Wiz I may not like it, but I am technically one of his companions, I need to go."

"Tohno-san, you nearly died of exertion last week, y-you're sitting this one out."

"…Where was this resolve when you were bulk buying water?"

"Th-That's not important right now. Tohno-san why don't you take a break from adventuring and work as a merchant instead? You're really good at making sales… actually, you're better at it than I am… even though you just… started."

Great now she's upsetting herself.

"I'm not that great a merchant Wiz… it's just that… well your kind of… Anyway, if I don't do anything those idiots are going to get themselves killed."

After seeing their performance against toads, I doubt the addition of a masochistic knight is going to be enough to fight off enlarged critters, let alone a Dullahan.

"What can one assassin do against a demon general? If you go out there, you could die… didn't you say you weren't going to get yourself killed? What about that person you wanted to meet?"

"Even if I stayed here I wouldn't be any safer! He's attacking the city!"

"But if… if he attacked any civilians then… then I would be allowed to kill him."

"Allowed? Who's stopping you?"

"Ah, erm p-please forget I said that."

I should probably press her on that when I get back.

"This is taking too long… Wiz…"

Unwinding my blindfold, I meet her gaze, she's looking at me like I'm made of porcelain, we met just over a week ago and she's already talking about settling down, isn't this going way too fast?

She's scared for my safety. I hold her gaze for a moment before breaking the silence.

"You're right. I don't need to be an adventurer; my life would probably be much simpler if I just settled down in a place like this."

"Th-Then ̶ "

"But that doesn't matter. I knew what I was getting into from the start, I know better than anyone how much danger I'm putting myself in, but I'm not going to let that stop me, are you?"

She sighs gently and looks away from me. A moment passes before she meets my gaze again this time far more stern than before.

"T-Tohno-san if that demon general is too much for you then come find me, I'll handle him."

"I'll keep it in mind. Wiz, I can handle this. This time I'll show you what I'm really capable of."

Placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder I move past Wiz. Opening the shop door, I'm greeted by pleasant weather and the sight of adventurers rushing around in a panic. I move to close the door behind me before remembering what happened the last time I left her alone in the shop.

"Oh, and Wiz, don't talk to any suspicious people while I'm out, I don't care what snake oil they're selling we don't need any more stock."

Ignoring her protests, I step out into the street. I'm about to attempt a desperate sprint to the town gate when I remember that I have a convenient 'cheat item' perfect for this scenario. It won't be of any actual use against the Dullahan, so I might as well use it now.

"Town gate."

/-/

The battle was almost over by the time I arrived.

Several rookie adventurers of Axel have already been mercilessly cut down in my absence. Even with those losses most of the adventurers are in ideal fighting shape, the only issue is that they're cowering at the front gate. Glad to see the town's brave guardians finally proving their worth.

There's a large crater a short distance from the town gate. I immediately recognise it as the work of the girl currently slumped in the arms of a nearby adventurer. She's mumbling to herself about unleashing her true power and showing everyone the beauty of explosion magic even as she's carried bridal style by a stranger.

Returning my gaze to the fallen adventurers, I find Aqua quietly moving from body to body offering some sort of funeral rights to them. I would be impressed with her surprisingly mature behaviour if I didn't suspect it was an excuse to avoid fighting. From what I've seen the goddess isn't much good in a fight, in her first battle she was eaten by a toad and when fighting undead she somehow decided wrestling would be more effective than magic.

At the moment only two adventurers are stupid enough to continue fighting this hopeless battle, from what I've seen of both Kazuma and Darkness I doubt either of them are fighting for noble reasons.

Kazuma is wearing the curse protection cloak I traded him yesterday. When I sold it to him, I hadn't really expected him to try using it in battle. It'll protect him from a very specific curse, but it offers no physical protection otherwise. That's probably why he's yelling at Darkness from the side-lines instead of joining the fight.

Darkness is armed with the sword which burns undead on contact. Why a lich owned one of those remains a mystery but Darkness' ability to wield it comes as no surprise. The sword was unsellable due to its drawback of burning the hands of its' wielder but as I told Kazuma, that's not going to bother her. if her lewd expression is anything to go by she seems to prefer it.

The Dullahan has been slowly chipping away at Darkness' armour, he probably would have already defeated her if her lewd noises weren't causing him to flinch after every attack. I think this is the first time I've seen someone employ masochism in a fight. That poor Dullahan.

Based on his boasting I've arrived just in time to watch Kazuma execute his dastardly plan, which he is 'wisely' announcing to the Dullahan. Honestly everyone participating in this battle has been strangely talkative considering they're in a life or death struggle.

" ̶ I will take your weapon from you. Take this, 'Steal' ̶ !" Kazuma yelled.

Naturally nothing happened.

"…Boy, that was a cunning plan… but, you have underestimated the difference in levels between us. If you had trained for another decade you may have had a chance. But now I shall predict your death! You will die ̶ What are you doing!?"

As the demon general prepares his curse Kazuma falls to his knees and begs the cloak to protect him, activating its' effects. While I avoided admitting this to him the main reason I recommended the cloak to Kazuma was because I assumed the humiliation of kneeling before an enemy wouldn't be an issue for him.

My poor appraisal aside I'm finally in range to intervene.

With Kazuma unable to defend himself Darkness steps between him and the Dullahan, she strikes the figure of a brave defender from afar if the cheering adventurers are anything to go by. Up close the image is somewhat ruined by the unhinged fantasies she's spouting.

"I'm sure you intend to use those strong arms of yours to lewdly torture and make an example of me in front of everyone! Try it if you think you can! In fact, show me what you've got!"

"Enough of the weird delusions! They'll get the wrong idea about me!"

Angrily rebuking the masochistic crusader who keeps ruining the mood with her fantasies the Dullahan throws something into the air. Wrapping both hands around the hilt of his greatsword the demon general charges in to strike the uncomfortably excited defender down.

"Shadow step."

My vision darkens for a second before I am thrust across the remaining space, appearing three steps behind the Dullahan. My first step feels awkward, my stance is untrained and inexperienced, the product of guesswork and vague feelings. On the second step those vague feelings sharpen into the familiar 'Nanaya instincts' I've relied upon until now. I ease into a more natural stance, the movement practiced. Without any thought I follow the first impulse that comes to mind.

̶ Thump

Kill it.

My muscles tense in preparation, and my spine trembles as I lower myself towards the ground for my final step.

I consider striking his point of death but cast the thought aside as soon as it occurs. He called himself a general and named a demon his king, such a plain death would be anticlimactic. I'll give the pompous monster a fitting end. The black lines on his body are numerous, his armour is no defence. He shouldn't have any complaints, a death fit for a princess is good enough for a knight.

He notices me at the last second…

"Wait who are ̶ "

But the attack is over in an instant.

Through the stump of his neck, across the spine, from the right collar bone to the right shoulder, upper right arm, lower right arm, right ring finger, left elbow, left thumb, left middle finger, left breast, from rib to the heart, from the stomach to the abdomen in two places, left groin, left thigh, left leg, left toe, all of them.

Passing by the panicking Dullahan I slash at his lines.

Not even a second passed, it all happened in an instant. The princess of the true ancestors couldn't escape this attack unscathed. My mind helpfully supplies the name of the attack moments after I finish executing it. 'Flashing scabbard', a simple attack that dismantles the target into seventeen pieces of meat.

The Dullahan dodged every cut.

"Yaaahhhh ̶ eh, am I alright?"

The shell shocked Dullahan pats himself down while checking for any injuries. I belatedly realize that his voice came from above when the Dullahan plucks his falling head from the air.

Dizziness. I really needed to end this quickly.

"Boy… what the hell was that!?"

He dodged my attack.

Without responding to the question, I appraise the monster. Not a single limb severed and not a single life-threatening wound, how disappointing. Rather than gloat over the overwhelming display of skill the panting Dullahan takes several steps away before regaining his composure.

His armour is damaged, for each attack dodged I managed to score a deep cut across his armour, the Dullahan slipped my attack but it seems my sudden attack has left my opponent a little shaken up. That's good, the lines of death still present on his body promise that my opponent is within reach, no amount of levels can prevent his death.

Loudly yelling to ensure her attack is as telegraphed as possible Darkness swings her sword at the Dullahan, he evades the blow before bashing her across the head with the flat of his blade. Throughout the exchange he avoids showing me his back. The Dullanhan's effortlessly smacking Darkness around with his sword, held back only by the uncomfortably loud noises she keeps making.

"Oi, can you do that again?" Kazuma asks quietly as he slips in from my left

"It won't do much good, I hadn't expected him to be so good at evading attacks."

"I think it's his head he throws it into the air every time he engages someone."

"Damn, see if you can find a way to attack the head, I need to distract him before the masochist gets herself killed."

"You noticed that as well, no one else will even comment… ah, never mind, I have a good plan, keep him distracted while I try to get the other adventurers to help me with something."

After agreeing to something resembling a strategy I charge towards the Dullahan as a gasping Darkness is knocked aside, I wait until the Dullahan retrieves his head from the air before attacking, if I attack before he gets it into the air I should be able to bypass his vision.

Seeing my approach, the Dullahan places his sword between us bracing for my attack.

"Shadow step"

I loudly call out the name of my ability, activating it an instant later. Not having enough time to throw his head into the air the Dullahan tucks it under his arm wielding his sword with one hand. Anticipating an attack from behind the Dullahan turns intending to counter attack the moment I appear. The instant the shadows surround my body I focus on the space right in front of me.

"Eh ̶ you rapscallion!"

I appear in front of the Dullahan as he spins on his heel expecting me to appear behind him. Upon realising my plan, he yells out in indignation before wildly swinging his sword in my direction. As the blade passes overhead I confirm Kazuma's theory that the Dullahan is using his head to accurately track his opponents. Lashing out at the closest leg I'm caught off guard as he lifts the same leg an instant before losing it, before I have a chance to respond a swift kick catches my chin launching me several metres away and causing me to drop my knife in the process. Before the Dullahan can press his advantage, Darkness moves in waving her sword wildly in his general direction.

Tumbling across the dirt I catch sight of a head staring down from above the battlefield. Damn, he must have thrown his head into the air after I ducked his first attack. Grasping a thick clump of grass to arrest my momentum I gasp as the sudden stop jerks my head backwards.

It feels like my brain is crashing violently against the insides of my skull. With every second my eyes remain open the pain worsens as my mind violently rebels against the fragile reality presented to it.

My chest tightens as I try to catch my breath, my ribs scrape against my lungs with each ragged intake, the sensation worsening as I try to focus my gaze on the battle in front of me.

"Tohno watch out!"

Darkness' panicked voice is the only warning I get as the Dullahan uses my distraction to cast a curse. Reacting to Darkness' warning I search for my knife only to see it planted in the soil below the Dullahans' feet.

Without any way to kill his magic I resolve to take the curse head on and kill the Dullahan before the it can take effect. It's not a great plan but it's not like I can dodge a curse.

"I shall predict your death! You will die ̶ Eh!"

My resolution is shattered at the last second by a powerful compulsion which causes me to hurl myself aside. To my immense surprise this seems to prevent the Dullahan from cursing me as he irritably engages Darkness once more. It takes me a few seconds to realize what happened, 'evasion' a meaningless skill with the vague description that it allows its user to dodge magic. I won't call it meaningless anymore.

Unfortunately, none of my new skills can help me kill an opponent without a blade. With this in mind I move towards the Dullahan as he breaks away another chunk of Darkness' armour while trying to ignore her ensuing moans. He hasn't noticed my knife near his feet and I don't intend to give him a chance to.

Stopping two metres away from him I prepare to use a second technique acquired through my forgotten 'Nanaya arts'. Crouching down in a position reminiscent of a sprinter I take a deep breath.

He notices my unusual stance, regarding me warily from what he thinks is a safe distance. As Darkness moves towards him he throws his head into the air stepping towards her to deliver a decisive blow to our incredibly sturdy meat shield.

"No more interruptions, I will ̶ "

Even to an entity with enhanced vision and a perfect view of the battlefield this technique cannot be followed, it was designed to catch demons off guard after all. Employing a second technique from the 'Nanaya arts' I cross the distance between us faster than the Dullahan's eyes can follow.

Ignoring my knife for the moment I deliver a swift kick to the Dullahan's chest hammering the full momentum of my movement straight into him.

" ̶ Gah!"

Caught off guard the Dullahan is knocked several metres back before regaining his footing. Darkness attempts to follow up my blow but the Dullahan lashes out in her direction knocking her back.

" ̶ you again!? Stop interrupting my finishing blows!"

Snatching my knife off the floor I take the opportunity to observe their battle as the Dullahan manages to awkwardly catch his head while meting out another blow to Darkness. Given the potency of her new weapon against undead it's surprising that Darkness hasn't managed to cause any damage so far.

At least it was surprising.

Her form is genuinely amazing, somehow with every swing, every movement and every lunge, it's impossibly awful! She's missing by such a wide margin that the Dullahan has stopped avoiding her attacks. He's just standing still and beating her over the head with the flat of his sword.

Not only are her attacks completely missing the mark, she isn't even defending herself properly, he's just been hitting her in the face for the last few exchanges while she stands there and takes it.

With a frustrated growl I move in again, intercepting the next blow levelled at Darkness' face. Targeting the lines on his sword I cleave the blade in two, leaving the Dullahan with a hilt and about four inches of sword left to fight with.

Snarling in anger the Dullahan loses his temper swinging his fist towards my jaw. Without the room to properly dodge I resolve to take the blow while delivering a swift kick to his ankle, weakening his footing should reduce the force of his ̶

"Mine! ̶ Haah… such advanced play."

"…" x 2

The Dullahan and I share an awkward moment as Darkness intercepts the blow with her face. As she's knocked to the ground she lets out a contented noise which might have been cute were it not for its' concerning implications.

Addressing me the Dullahan speaks in a voice devoid of any pomposity.

"I'm really not enjoying this or anything."

The sight of a Dullahan awkwardly grinding his foot against the dirt elicits a brief smirk.

"Eh! Then why have you been indulging this masochist in front of everyone?"

"I'm not doing this on purpose! She just keeps ̶ "

With the flustered monster distracted I slash at his head. Caught off guard he attempts to counter my blow with the tip of his sword before realising his mistake, the tip of his sword is planted in dirt below us. Adjusting his defence at the last second, he receives the blow with a heavily armoured gauntlet. Under most circumstances this would have been a smart move, the armoured gauntlet should easily have blocked my knife.

Slicing through his lines of death, I sever three of the fingers from the Dullahans' sword hand before attacking again.

Dropping his sword, the Dullahan is forced backwards unarmed and unable to defend itself against a follow up attack.

The battle is over. A single moment of distraction was all it took.

I move in to end this farce ̶

And crumple to the ground before I can even take a step towards him.

Damn it, I'm at my limit.

Stumbling back to my feet I glare at my confused opponent. He's still unarmed. All I need to do is attack.

I can't move my legs.

Rooted to the spot all I can do is glare at the Dullahan as he picks up a sword left behind by a defeated adventurer. Before I hit my limit, I forced him towards the crater left behind by Megumin, degraded weapons litter the field, damaged but sharp enough to end the life of an unarmoured assassin.

The battle is over. A single moment of weakness was all it took. Wary of me after our last exchange the Dullahan speaks from a distance this time, likely expecting another surprise attack.

"Boy, if this is another ruse I shan't fall for it."

Well if my opponent wants to waste time monologuing I can indulge him.

"Ah damn you got me."

Putting on a fake smile I ignore the pain and dizziness as I force myself into a more casual pose.

"In life I was an honourable knight. You are far from honourable, but you've dealt me an injury today. I am Beldia a general in the demon kings' army, I would have your name."

As the Dullahan gestures with his injured hand he fumbles nearly dropping his sword, if I could still fight he would be at a disadvantage. No wonder he's stalling, this guy actually thinks I'm a threat.

"Shiki Tohno, apparently I'm a famous concubine."

"A famous wha ̶ ?"

"NOW!"

At Kazuma's signal the now revitalised adventurers begin lobbing potion vials at the confused demon general, recognising the vials immediately I hurl myself in the opposite direction tumbling a metre away before the first potion explodes.

I forgot I had pawned those off on Kazuma. During our trade I offered him a crate of powerful explosive potions. While 'useful' tools when killing monsters, the potions are notoriously unstable. They react with oxygen to produce large explosion. They're convenient to trigger and don't require much skill to use but the smallest crack can cause them to explode without warning. Additionally, the condition they leave targets in makes it impossible to sell off monster parts if you're looking to make a profit. Much like the spell explosion they're more trouble than they're worth.

I don't how Wiz can afford all this useless trash.

"Oi did that potion just exp ̶ Hey, stop that where is you hon ̶ Gah, quit it!"

Beldia awkwardly tries to hop around the exploding vials stumbling and yelping as I stare at the spectacle from the dirt. If I could move this would be an excellent opportunity to retreat. Unfortunately, it's taking everything I have to maintain my breathing, even with my full effort I'm starting to get lightheaded as my protesting lungs draw in a few shallow breaths.

Lamenting my wretched state, I'm caught off guard when a strong grip takes my collar and begins pulling me away from the incensed Dullahan who continues to cry out in frustration as the adventurers pelt him with explosive potions.

"Aah being pelted with fluids by a mob, why do I have to avoid their punishment…!"

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable owing a pervert my life.

Without consulting me Darkness drags me away from the fray, bringing me to Kazuma and the other adventurers. By the time we reach them they've almost run out of potions to throw at Beldia. Upon seeing us Kazuma is quick to delicately check on my condition.

"Oi, oi what happened? It looked like you were winning then you suddenly collapsed!"

"Anemia."

"Oi Aqua you've finally got a chance to be useful, come heal this guy."

"Hey HikiNEET! What do you mean 'finally useful'? I'm a goddess of water! Apologize!"

"I'm fine with apologizing just heal him already."

"Aah fine! Sacred Highness Heal!"

After bickering with Kazuma for a moment the archpriest finally got around to healing me.

The instant she did the exhaustion and pain that had plagued my body vanished. Feeling cured of all ails I climbed to my feet.

That proves to be a mistake. The moment I stand a wave of dizziness nearly sweeps me off my feet, my knees buckle as I close my eyes in an effort to shut out the strain but even still the pain persists. Kazuma grabs me by the shoulder.

"Oi what's wrong, Aqua, healing's all you're good for! Why isn't he any better?"

"Aaah! It's not my fault, this one's a special case!"

"You useless former something or other, if you can't heal him then whose going to kill that that Dullahan huh! I'd like to see you try it! Go on, hurry up and try it you useless goddess!"

"You called me useless again! Just you watch. I'll show you what a goddess can do!"

/-/

I should have stayed in the shop today.

This thought occurs to me as I float along a gentle current. I'm actually quite fortunate, most of the adventurers were swept away in a giant flood which just tore through the city gate causing untold property damage. I was at the edge of the group when the torrent reached us and so have been gently carried along by a now dissipating stream of water. I exchanged a nod with Megumin as she floats by on a slightly larger stream my eyes linger on her for a moment as she's carried off to parts unknown. Carefully covering my eyes with my now damp blindfold, I let out a long sigh.

After being unintentionally egged on by Kazuma, Aqua unleashed a flood against the irate Dullahan who had up until that point been desperately dodging a volley of exploding potions. It seems I've underestimated her capacity for destruction, she's done a splendid job destroying the town gate.

Some idiots are arguing nearby. Stumbling slowly towards the commotion I approach the arguing pair responsible for all the noise. I have a raging headache now, but I need to make sure everything's settled before I go sleep it off.

"What are you thinking? Are you an idiot? Are you a complete imbecile!?"

It seems Beldia's upset over the flood. I can't disagree with anything he said but considering his reasons for being here it seems a bit hypocritical coming from him.

He should be weak for me to finish things up. While the healing magic wasn't as effective as I'd hoped it was enough for me to start moving again. I should repay the favour now so I don't have to owe her one.

Approaching quietly from behind I unwind my blindfold one more time. My headache worsens the moment I spot the lines of death covering Beldia's form. He's trying to climb to his feet while holding a sword in his injured hand and his head in the other. Aqua eggs Kazuma on, telling him to do something while the Dullahan is weakened, how he intends to defeat the Dullahan remains unknown.

"I'll definitely snatch your weapon this time! Take this!" Kazuma said.

Sure, who needs the element of surprise anyway? This reminds me of the time I explained my abilities to a vampire in detail before ̶ Oh wait nobody does that!

"Just try it! Even if I've been weakened it's impossible for a novice adventurer to take my ̶ Eh! Damn it!"

Fumbling with his injured hand Beldia drops his borrowed weapon, falling to his knees he attempts to pick it up with his free hand. With only a thumb and an index finger to work with he repeatedly fumbles as he scrabbles for the weapon. Approaching my distracted foe who has so graciously offered me his back I pierce a point of death located on the nape of his neck.

"Well… that was anticlimactic."

Today, with a bored expression and a raging headache, I slew a dangerous adversary.

/-/

"Hey Tohno."

"Yes, I'm Tohno."

"Oi, don't steal that! Anyway, were you a conman back in Japan?"

"Kazuma I'm hurt, I'll have you know that I was a very respected killer back home." I punctuate my statement with an innocent smile.

"Killer what ̶ ? No, never mind, I don't need to hear your backstory right now."

"Are you sure? It's an exciting romantic adventure filled with first meetings and confessions in a moonlit park."

"…Why did you tell those adventurers that we killed the Dullahan with explosive potions?"

"It was the best cover story I could come up with. I don't want too many people to find out about my eyes."

"Your cover story seemed unusually focused on selling useless items to people."

"An unintended benefit I promise. It's as my little sister once taught me, if you don't like the truth, replace it with something convenient."

"… Oi, little sisters don't say scary things like that!"

"Hahahahahaha! Yes, they do."

Still stifling a laugh, I limp to the front door of Wiz's shop. Suppressing a grimace and doing my best impression of nonchalance I open the door.

"Wiz I'm back."

"T-Tohno-san welcome back."

A crash sounds as a startled Wiz drops what is no doubt a very expensive item.

"What's with the affectionate greetings huh, why doesn't my party look at me like that?" Kazuma cries.

Wiz awkwardly pats him on the shoulder while I pull out a chair and sit down

"Oh Tohno-san lots of nice adventurers came in while you were away, we've already sold our entire stock of explosive potions! They said that they were going to take on another demon general, I tried to convince them the potions wouldn't be enough, but they insisted on buying them anyway."

"Staaaaaaaare"

Kazuma helpfully punctuates his no doubt very judgemental look by saying it aloud for my benefit. I'm not sure whether I should appreciate the gesture. Ignoring him I continue to converse with Wiz.

"That's wonderful news Wiz, looks like you'll be able to stay out of the red this month. I'm pretty sure we have Kazuma to thank for that, the adventurers were all really impressed after seeing Kazuma defeat a demon general using your products."

"You defeated a demon general Kazuma-san, th-that's amazing, and m-my items really helped you?"

"Ah well, that's not… it would have been impossible… without those… er, amazing items… th-thanks Wiz."

Buckling under the innocent words and watery eyes of an undead lich Kazuma immediately relents unwilling to shatter this innocent shop keepers' dreams. She really can be a valuable if unwitting accomplice.

"Kazuma-san w-would you like to join us for some tea?"

"Ah no thanks I promised the girls I'd meet them at the guild to collect our reward, if I don't get there soon Aqua will waste all our money on booze. I'll see you both later."

With that Kazuma hastily exits the shop, I briefly consider accompanying him to the guild after that concerning revelation but honestly what's the worst that could happen. I'll probably turn up tomorrow and find out he's recruited another quirky companion with a ridiculously specific skillset.

Joining Wiz for tea I tell her an embellished story about the battle glossing over the parts where I nearly died in favour of highlighting how useful her items were, well that and asking her whether it's normal for priests to be able to resurrect people.

I had assumed when I arrived that Aqua had been performing funeral rites but in actuality she had been resurrecting all of the fallen adventurers. In the end against all odds there were no casualties in a battle with the demon general Beldia. Wiz confirmed my suspicion that resurrect is a rare spell in this world, only archpriests of the highest levels ever acquire enough skill points to purchase it and even then, its' incredibly expensive to use. I should ask Aqua if she can do anything about my mystic eyes the next time I see her.

Wiz pours herself some tea as I take a first sip of my drink. I grimace as the fluid passes my lips quickly suppressing it to avoid worrying Wiz.

"Ah Tohno-san is something wrong?"

"No, no the tea's lovely, I just had an unpleasant thought."

After a few more sips my suspicions are confirmed.

I can't taste anything.

* * *

 **Ooh, ominous.** **So I thought I'd talk a little bit about my limited knowledge of switching POVs and explain my thought process on them.**

 **I like them a lot, as mentioned in the review I read they're an excellent way of giving us a new perspective on someone or something in the story. Like all** **clever writing techniques though they're a little intimidating. I do plan on getting some mileage out of an alternate perspective later in the story but the reason why I've avoided using switching POVs for the entire story is quite simple, I'm worried I'd screw it up.**

 **One of my main problems would be dealing with the canon plot. I plan to have the main plot happen concurrently with my own, it would work kind of like a spinoff more than anything.**

 **Working with that in mind I can just have canon events I don't want to show retold to Shiki by the other characters. While a bad decision in a main plot it works for a spinoff because I can assume that most of my readers are familiar with the main series. However if I wanted to use Kazuma's POV then I wouldn't be able to skip over events important to him.**

 **For example this story didn't really need to show the Mitsurugi fight.** **If I were to have the Mitsurugi fight then one of two things would have happened either Shiki is present which doesn't add anything to his story or Shiki isn't present and I would have to show it from Kazuma's POV.**

 **Without Shiki present, it should realistically follow canon, not enough has changed to warrant a different scene. The problem with that is that there's already a light novel and an anime that present that scene better than I can.**

 **TL;DR I'm still something of an amateur writer, I think that if a more experienced writer were to take on this story then juggling another POV would be a good idea but in my case it's best not to bite off more than I can chew.**

 **Speaking of I'm a little overwhelmed with work stuff so next chapter will be out on 23rd February (two weeks). Sorry for the delay but I need some time to get ahead on the next arc before I start posting.**

 **Thanks again for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ah finally, sorry for the late upload, I've been having formatting errors with the site and I don't have much free time to work on this at the moment. With that out the way, I will respond to one review this time, one or two other questions asked in the reviews are about to be answered in this chapter so I thought I'd take a moment to acknowledge this one. And respond to one other query. If you not interested feel free to skip ahead to the story.**

 **So it was pointed out that in my first chapter I had Shiki mention light novels, but in Tsukihime Shiki doesn't really read, he's kind of a normie. This is an excellent point and something I missed entirely, thankfully it is only a single line without any implications for my plot but yep that was a pretty big mistake. So bravo that is an excellent catch and something that will eventually be fixed. On the subject of fixes, it was pointed out the dialogue tagging and grammar in the early chapters is... pretty weak. I do want to go back and fix them but for the time being I'm only letting myself work on future chapters, once the story's finished I do plan to go over the full thing and tighten up the writing but for now all I can do is take the feedback forward.**

 **The other query I wanted to address was a question about Shiki's loss of taste, specifically is it canon? The answer is no it isn't, the oldest version of Shiki we see is the Shiki in talk/prologue who's about a year older than he was in Tsukihime isn't on his deathbed yet. Talk, by the way is where I got the blindfold thing from, they have links to translations of it on the tvtropes page if you're interested. Anyway, without much inspiration for what symptoms he should suffer from towards the end of his life I came up with a few myself, there is a common theme with them but I'll be coy about that for now.**

 **Anyway let's get to the story.**

* * *

After resting in my room at the tavern I've managed yet another miraculous recovery, the loss of taste notwithstanding.

I experienced the same symptoms towards the end of my previous life, it's a consequence of using my mystic eyes. I knew using my eyes this much would start to affect me eventually, but the symptoms have started earlier than I'd expected. If things continue to progress this quickly I'll expire by the end of next year.

I try not to dwell on it too much, but the truth is that I died.

Actually, if you count what happened with SHIKI I've died twice now but even still, it's only natural to fear death. I suppose that makes me a hypocrite, even if my lifespan is unnaturally short, isn't using my eyes only going to make it worse?

If I'm afraid of dying shouldn't I settle down?

That kind of thinking doesn't work for me. Worrying about my future is pointless, it's always been pointless for someone like me.

I don't have a future.

I've known it for a long time now, the world is fragile, it's more fragile than we care to admit. Armed with nothing but a knife I could cut it into pieces. I could stab and cut at it, I could kill the ground beneath my feet, kill the structures built upon it and kill the bonds holding it together. But even compared to this fragile world my existence is precarious. From the moment I awoke in that hospital room my future was gone, I was going to die. So, all I can do is live, just living is enough, it has to be.

But I died.

I'd been chasing rumours at the time; my search often came down to that. When you're searching for a castle accessible only to a select few in-history hearsay is often all there is to find. This particular rumour concerned a single piece of fruit located at the heart of a vampiric forest. The rumour promised that if one could survive long enough to find the forests core then they could steal the fruit for themselves. If a mortal creature were to consume the fruit their lifespan would drastically increase, but the fruit has a lesser known effect, it can sate a vampires' bloodlust. After recovering from the injuries, I inflicted on her, Arcuied had to lock herself away to protect me from her bloodlust, I had a chance to fix that. Her condition is an exceptionally rare one and that fruit is the only remedy I've ever come across.

The fruit is bait of course. The forest is a phantasmal creature, it draws in its prey with the promise of longevity and then consumes any who enter. If I wanted to steal its prize the I would have to face a deadly trial. Sadly, I didn't even get that far. Long before reaching the forest of Einnashe I died of exertion.

I failed.

Even if I do manage to return to my world the forest is long gone now, it won't manifest for another fifty years and I'll be long dead by then. I missed my chance to help Arcueid and if I keep wasting time here, then it's only a matter of time before another chance slips through my fingers.

I need to find a way back.

/-/

After a rather sobering morning I make my way to the guild hall. It appears I'm not the only one having a bad day, Kazuma's threatening to abandon Aqua again.

" ̶ it's your fault! Our entire reward was negated by debts! What good is an ally that causes more problems than she solves!? If you want all the reward money for killing the dullahan then you can have all the debts too!"

These arguments have become a regular occurrence after Beldia's defeat. After Beldia was slain I'd expected Kazuma would manage to find trouble but it seems I've underestimated his talents.

I'd arrived at the guild the next day ready for yet another story featuring Kazuma being blackmailed into accepting another unhelpful party member only to learn that the guild had robbed us blind.

The guild in return for the subjugation of a dangerous enemy, has burdened our party with debts, holding us all accountable for Aqua's spell. Rather than fault the guild for this Kazuma has been blaming Aqua who in turn has been petulantly demanding money.

"Wahh Kazuma! It's not my fault, you're the one who told me to do it!"

"Who asked you to cause all that property damage!? I didn't! Look at this we even have to pay damages to local businesses!"

I wince at that last part, recalling a conversation I had with Wiz a few days ago. My reaction manages to draw Kazuma's attention away from the now crying Aqua.

"…Oi Tohno, why did you look guilty just now? Don't start whistling that's even more suspicious!"

/-/

" _Eh! Tohno-san what are you doing with those potion bottles, I thought you were going to try to return them?"_

 _I smiled at Wiz, while tossing another 'miracle healing potion' onto the haphazard pile stacked outside the store, it was late at night so no one was around to see what I was doing._

 _The conman who'd sold Wiz several crates of snake oil had already skipped town, with him gone any hope of returning the products legally was dashed. Thankfully, I'd already found another way to recover from our losses, provided we were willing to be a little creative with the truth._

" _Ah Wiz I'm just filing our damage report now, honestly it's a good thing the guild is willing to cover all of the damages after that flood."_

 _As I spoke I re-entered the shop and picked out two potions, the first was a small vial of explosive potion and the second was an expensive paralysis potion. I nearly jumped at the sound of the door slamming behind a distracted Wiz._

" _Damages? B-But we didn't have any damag_ _̶_ _"_

 _She cut herself off after I threw the explosive potion at the pile with enough force to shatter it. The small explosion wasn't enough to damage the pavement, but the pile of potion bottles filled with water weren't as sturdy, their shards were strewn across the pavement._

 _Uncorking the paralyisis potion which I'm sure was unsellable due to some quirky drawback, I poured it over the broken bottles producing what I hoped was a believable facsimile of water damage._

 _With my work complete I turned to Wiz._

" _If anyone asks they were damaged during the flood. Oh right, I've already claimed that the potions were genuine, so if someone were to contradict me now… well, they'd be causing me a lot of trouble."_

" _Tohno-san… I know this was my fault to begin with b-but is this really okay? What if we're just causing someone else trouble?"_

" _Don't worry, the guild is offering to cover the damages, it's not like one person's going to be stuck with all the costs."_

/-/

Whoops.

In my defence, I had no way of knowing that Kazuma would be held accountable. I mean isn't it a bit shady for a guild to force adventurers to pay for damages caused in battle, they seem like the real bad guys here.

Those scoundrels aside, I need to make sure Wiz doesn't hear anything about this. She seems way too innocent to accept this situation.

Returning to the present I flash Kazuma an innocent smile.

"Right, right so did you find any new quests?"

"… you're just gonna pretend you weren't whistling suspiciously? Fine, we've found a quest to hunt snow fairies, they're a harmless monster worth 100,000 Eris each."

I let out a low whistle as Kazuma reads out the bounty, that's quite a good price. Still I feel the need to raise my concerns.

"Sounds too good to be true."

"It does but… we really need the money."

I feel a twinge of guilt as Kazuma slams his head into the table. After resting against the tables cool surface for a few moments Kazuma recollects himself.

"Are you sure you won't come with us Tohno, you're the only party member who can reliably kill things."

"Sorry, I need to work on an investigation of my own, also don't you need to do something about that, you can't expect to fight all you're battles for you."

Feeling like a parent who spoiled their child too much in their youth I shoo my troublesome party members out the door. Honestly, asking a killer like me to hunt harmless snow fairies.

/-/

After seeing Kazuma and the girls off, I return to the guild hall for breakfast. Wiz already knows I won't be coming in today and with Kazuma and the girls fighting snow fairies I won't need to worry about them finding trouble. I have a full day to investigate devils, and once again I have no idea where to start.

In my defence devils are considered enemies of humanity, it would be bizarre to think anyone in the guild would tolerate their presence in Axel.

I'm about to check the notice board for any devil related bounties when a mischievous voice calls out to me from across the room. The corners of my mouth turn upwards as I turn to face my mysterious benefactor.

"Shiki, there you are, I've been looking for you all day."

"Chris, it's eleven in the morning, you can't have been searching that long."

"I'll have you know I searched tirelessly until I found you."

"You don't sound very tired."

"I won't be distracted by your flattery Tohno, I heard you have enough money to pay me back."

Chuckling I toss her a pouch containing the Eris I owed her with a little interest.

After my plans were foiled by a selfish goddess whose name is synonymous with money, I arrived in this world penniless, armed with only a knife and an intentionally unhelpful 'cheat item'. Unable to pay the registration fee demanded by the guild I was helped by a passing thief. I was ready to pay her back the following day, but she's been elusive as of late.

"So… Chris, where have you been all this time?"

"Your new party leader stole my panties and sold them back at an extortionate price."

"… sounds like him, how did you know I'm associated with such a disreputable pervert."

"Oh, she hasn't told you, Darkness was telling me about you guys, I'm an old friend of hers."

"Chris… I see, so you're also into that kind of pervert play."

"I'm not into having my panties stolen!"

"Ah so you're the one who's been indulging Darkness in ̶ "

"I'm not! Honestly why is that despite my high luck stat I always find myself in these compromising situations?"

"Karma?"

"You know if you like a girl you can just tell her, there's no need for all this bullying." She purred.

Awkwardly glancing aside despite my lack of sight I attempt a quick change of subject, if the gentle laughter is anything to go by she definitely noticed.

"Hee-hee you're surprisingly weak to teasing Tohno, so what was it you wanted to ask?"

"I'm looking for a devil ̶ " A chair scrapes against the floor behind me, "Do you know where I could find a one?"

I hear the man behind me spluttering as he chokes on his drink.

Ignoring the man Chris responds to my question.

"I don't but if you find one, it would be great if it was exterminated without exception."

I'm taken aback by the her surprisingly strong reaction, her tone didn't change in the slightest, but her immediate answer is concerning. Apparently, I'm not the only one taken aback, the man behind me gulps audibly at her words.

"… I'm not looking to exterminate any devils, in fact I need to ask one a few questions."

A silence passes before she speaks again, this time the severity of her tone is unmistakeable.

"… Tohno, could it be that you're trying to run away ag ̶ N-Never mind, devils are evil and anyone who would consult with them is an enemy of the Eris sect. I'll overlook it this time, but you should be more careful."

At her zealous words the man behind me starts to hyperventilate, he's panicking for some reason. Chris doesn't seem interested in his strange behaviour ignoring him entirely, I on the other hand am very eager to speak with our eavesdropper.

"Chis, do you have a personal grudge against devils? It sounds like you're speaking from experience."

"O-Of course not, it's not like I've ever fought in a war against them or anything, nope I'm just Darkness' old friend, just a normal beginner adventurer, definitely not a ̶ say do you want a drink, I could go for a neroid right about now."

Without waiting for my response, she stands up and makes a beeline for the counter.

What the hell is a neroid?

Setting aside that bizarre display I address the man behind me, it's obvious he's been listening in and given his extreme reactions to the topic it seems likely he knows something. Without turning to face him I speak, I keep my voice low to avoid anyone overhearing.

"Say you seem quite interested in our conversation, while the scary girl's gone, mind telling me where I can find a devil."

"Whoa!"

After being caught eavesdropping the adventurer jumped out if his chair.

"Oi, quiet down you don't her to hear about this do you?"

Realizing his mistake, the man sits down, lowering his voice he responds.

"R-Right we don't want any girls to hear about this."

So, he's worried about Chris finding out, strange, while her reaction was quite extreme I imagine most adventurers would be against associating with devils. Well it's not like I mind, I wasn't planning on telling Chris anything else after that display just now.

"Alright then, we can keep this between us guys." I reassure.

"Thanky ̶ "

"But, I do need you to tell me what you know, err…"

"Dust, my names Dust."

Dust pulls out the chair next to me as he answers.

"Dust then, I'm Tohno, do you know where I can find a devil."

"There's a few succubi running a shop in town, you know they specialize in gifting wonderful dreams to others, right?"

"Yeah, I've… had a run in with one before."

That description sounds accurate alright, painfully accurate. It seems succubi here are the same as back home. I try not to blush as I remember Arcuied's 'present', honestly what kind of airhead thinks sex dreams are an appropriate reward for slaying a vampire.

"Right, they're at this address… oh you're wearing a blindfold, it's on a business card. They're using a café as a cover to keep female adventurers from finding out, I've never been before so I was planning on waiting for a friend to go with me…"

Raising my blindfold, I take a look at the card, as he said the address is written in cursive on an innocuous looking card, it's decorated with flower petals and advertises a café.

Glancing at Dust, I'm taken aback by his abnormal yet strangely familiar appearence, how the hell does someone in a fantasy world have bleached blonde hair? He kind of reminds me of Arihiko, I need to stop associating with delinquents.

"Can you take me there today?" I ask.

"Alright but ̶ shit!"

Dust's eyes widen at something over my shoulder, as he frantically scrabbles to hide the business card in his pocket I cover my eyes again. Moments later Chris returns with two drinks.

She waits until I take a sip before posing a question.

"So, what were you two talking about? Nothing shady I hope."

I splutter and cough violently, I can practically hear her smirking. Stay calm, it's not like she knows what's going on, I can just deny any wrongdoing and she'll have nothing to work with.

"Ah, nothing about dev ̶ "

Throwing my hand over Dust's mouth I offer Chris an innocent smile.

"We were just talking about guy stuff."

"… Guy stuff huh, I didn't realise THIS was considered guy stuff!"

"How did you ̶ ? Give that back!" Dust panics at whatever she just held up.

…

"Chris…" After it becomes clear she hasn't noticed I wave my hand in front of my face.

"Oh right, I'm holding the business card he was showing you earlier. Considering what we just talked about, I'm sure the guild would be very interested in this address."

Oh no. The worst possible person found out what we're doing. I can't ask those succubae any questions if she has them executed.

It's a setback but maybe I need to destroy the card, if she hasn't memorized the address then she won't be able to do anything if I destroy it.

With this plan in mind, I slowly unwind my blindfold, letting it hang loose around my neck as I assess the situation. Dust is sat next to me, he's refusing to meet Chris' gaze instead staring intently at his hands, I can't tell if he'd be much use in a fight, so it would be best not to rely on him. Chris is ̶

̶ Thump

Kill it.

Chris' spine goes rigid. Before she'd been leaning over the table to show us the card but now she's sitting ramrod straight. She seems like she's trying to say something, her lip trembles as she opens her mouth but after meeting my gaze her teeth click shut. My hand slides slowly down towards my knife, she mirrors my action, her hands trembling as she reaches to her waist. She's not hum ̶

I pause thinking back to when I first met to Wiz, I think about Arcuied and remember Akiha's telling me about her heritage with an uncomfortable smile. Moving my hand away from my waist and placing my open palms on the table I slowly exhale, I hadn't even noticed that I was holding my breath.

Responding to my actions Chris seems to calm down, she smiles, but it looks forced. She leans forward a little as her posture relaxes but she still remains deliberately out of my reach.

She noticed it.

A silence passes, sensing the tension even Dust refuses to speak. I consider breaking the silence before Chris pipes up, with an awkward chuckle she offers to settle the matter with a game of rock-paper-scissors.

/-/

The rules are simple enough, it's rock-paper-scissors. Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper and paper beats rock. Why this world developed the same game as ours, without changing any of the names or rules remains a mystery but it sure is convenient.

We have two chances to win, Chris will play a game with Dust, if he wins she returns the business card and promises not to pass on any information to the guild staff. If she wins, then she plays one more game with me, to keep the card she needs to beat both of us, however if even one of us wins she will return it without issue.

This is way too suspicious.

Taking Dust aside for a moment I tell him my concerns. Smirking, the delinquent informs me of his 'brilliant' plan.

"Listen up Tohno, before we play I'm going to tell her that I'll throw paper. She'll realize that if I throw paper the only way for her to win is if she plays scissors, but then she'll realize that I know she knows that she needs to play scissors. She'll expect me to play rock in order to counter scissors, so to counter my rock she'll play paper, and when she does I'll spring my trap. You see Tohno, I know that she knows that I need to play rock because I know that she knows she needs to play scissors, so when I throw scissors she'll be completely overwhelmed. Do you understand."

No.

"That plan sounds way too complicated, also what if she just throws something out at random?"

"Oh, poor naïve Tohno, everyone knows that rock-papers-scissors is an intricate psychological battle. Just watch, I'll show you how it's done."

Do I even need to watch this? He doesn't stand a chance. It's taken me a bit, but I've finally come to understand Dust, he's an underdog, in every sense of the word he's an underdog.

He struts towards Chris as she finishes her drink, they both stand face to face, Dust brags about his unbeatable strategy while Chris tosses her cape back theatrically and declares herself in the game of rock-paper-scissors. I guess rock-paper-scissors is serious business in this world.

With a confident smirk Dust lays his 'trap'.

"Listen up, as a man I could never fight a girl seriously, so I'll give you a fighting chance, I'll only play paper."

Chris tilts her head at his proclamation before shrugging to herself.

Still confident in his strategy Dust resumes his speech.

"Eh well girly I hope you're ready bec ̶ rock, paper, scissors ̶ !"

What are you eight!?

Cutting himself off mid-sentence Dust tries to rush Chris into making a mistake.

"Eh? Wait, now? Eh, hold on, er ̶ rock!"

Chris annihilates his plan without even realizing he had one.

Not content with a single loss Dust demands another chance.

"Best of three!"

He lost.

"Best of five!"

He lost again.

"Best of ten!"

Surprisingly, he lost. It seems six is the magic number because after his sixth consecutive loss he returns to the bar and starts drinking.

As far as I can tell Chris isn't using any strategy she's just been really… lucky.

Shit.

"Chris, your luck stat… it wouldn't happen to be…?"

"Off the charts, yes. I am a god ̶ err Thief of the Church of Eris, yeah that's what I am."

… Shit.

"So Tohno, ready to go a few rounds?" She purrs.

I flash her an innocent smile before closing my eyes.

"I'll only be playing the one round, winner takes all right?"

I have one chance, I doubt I can outdo her luck, but maybe I can pull off a scheme of my own.

"Eh if you're sure… ready?"

I take a long breath to clear my mind, if this is going to work, I'll need _that_ to happen. I don't know exactly what conditions need to be met for it to happen, but I'm certain that my emotions can interfere. Hopefully if I clear my head and open my eyes at the last second, my instincts will do the rest.

With my eyes still closed I raise an empty hand towards Chris, it's closed into a fist as is custom when playing rock paper scissors. In order to avoid your opponent knowing what you'll do in advance it's customary to start with rock and change it at the last second.

"I'm ready Chris."

"I'm ready, Tohno."

…

"Rock, paper, scissors shoot!"

"Rock, paper, sciss ̶ gah!"

At the last moment I open my eyes and inspect my opponent.

̶ Thump.

Kill it.

She's not human.

I need to ̶ throw paper!

My enemy freezes as I glare at her, I should just kill her. She jumps back, her left hand reaches for her waist as the right remains in front of her, clenched into a fist.

A feral smile graces my lips as I gesture with my open hand.

"That's my win, right?"

"…"

She stares at my palm for a few moments before realizing.

When she froze up, she technically played rock.

"… You used something like that… to win a game of rock-paper-scissors!"

Despite her complaints she slaps the business card in my palm.

"Geez Tohno, my heart's hammering in my chest, I know you like to tease but… don't tell me this is how you hit on girls!?"

"Ah well technically… I mean…"

She's gives me a withering glare as we meet Dust at the bar. I really should apologize to Arcuied when I find her. Dust perks up at our arrival.

"Tohno, Chris, who won?"

In lieu of an answer I hand him the business card. As he and Chris share a celebratory drink I wind my blindfold around my eyes again, it took me a while to notice but if I don't concentrate on the lines I can remove my blindfold for short periods of time without suffering ill effects.

Chris sidles up next to me once I've covered my eyes again, apparently still comfortable in my presence.

"That was a dirty trick Tohno, but I'll forgive you if you buy me a drink. We're friends after all, and friends don't ask each other uncomfortable questions."

The message is clear, she won't ask about my abnormal reaction if I don't ask about her non-human lineage. Given her thoughts on devils I suppose that's fine, she obviously isn't a devil and despite my baser instincts I don't have an issue with her being a non-human.

"That's fine by me, come on then, what do you want to drink?"

She hums childishly as she decides on a drink.

"I think I'll take a ̶ Kazuma!"

"I don't think they sell him here…"

"No err I'm supposed to meet him in town, I mean it's not like anyone died or anything, but I need to go…"

After stumbling through her sentence Chris sprints out of the guild hall before I even have a chance to tell her that he's out questing, I guess he must have forgotten about it too, he definitely didn't say anything about it before.

/-/

After that I spend an hour at the bar with Dust, I stick to Neroids for the time being, I never wa much of a drinker. The taste is indescribable yet strangely pleasant. If I were to put it into words I would call it 'swirly' rather than bubbly, Akiha doesn't let me bring fizzy drinks to the mansion and after setting out on my quest I didn't have much free time so it's the first taste of pop I've had in years. It's… alright.

Dust has been drinking ever since his embarrassing string of losses to Chris, after listening his rambling stories for a while I ask Dust whether he's going to take me to the succubus shop. It soon becomes apparent that he's already too drunk to remember our agreement and after downing another drink he confesses that he doesn't have enough cash on his person after overspending at the bar. Thankfully he still hasn't noticed me ordering drinks on his tab.

His guildmate Keith comes by to pick him up not long after, he joins us for a few more drinks and after Dust proves himself incapable of offering a coherent story I offer to tell him what happened with Chris. Leaving out a few details, particularly anything involving my murderous instincts, I tell him an exciting tale of high stakes rock-paper-scissors, he confirms my suspicions that those two really were taking it too seriously and we have a good laugh over Dust's ultimately hopeless efforts.

Eventually Keith thanks me for looking after his unreliable companion and asks if there's anything he can do to return the favour. After telling him about Dust's promise he informs me that they're both going to visit the succubus shop tomorrow and offers to bring me along. We make plans to meet outside the guild tomorrow and with one last thanks Keith carries his companion out the door.

Before the door can shut a loud and obnoxious party charges through the door arguing over the 'winter shogun' and who the best goddess is. Sadly, those loud people are my party and they quickly make their way towards me with Kazuma taking the lead.

"Tohno!"

Kazuma grabs me by the shoulders and starts shaking me back and forth.

"Oi, you missed something amazing today, I met the true heroine."

"… The what?"

"It happened just after I was killed ̶ "

"By snow faires?"

"I met the goddess of this world, Eris, she's a true goddess-sama, an exceptionally beautiful girl with a hint of sorrow in her eyes. Ah, why couldn't I have had her as a companion?"

"She sounds conniving and spiteful."

The kind of person who ruins perfectly good plans.

"How the hell did you get that impression from what I said?"

* * *

 **Sadly I don't have any big discussions for you here, which is a shame because I really enjoyed writing the last one, I think I wrote more drafts for the response than the chapter it featured in** **.**

 **I'm getting a bit buried by my real life work so I'm going to have to take a short break until the end of March, rest assured that unlike Tsukihime 2 and the Tsukihime remake the next chapter will come out. I'll still be working on this story in my free time but it is going to take me a while to get ahead on all my work.**

 **Thanks again for stopping by and I'll see you at the end of next month.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Woo I'm back with an explanation, a set up chapter and some unfortunate news.**

 **To be brief I have a lot less free time now and just sort of forgot about this. I had some free time this weekend though so I've tidied up the first half of this half finished chapter which is now two chapters so I can offer an explaination while publishing what I do have. I'll offer a more detailed explanation at the end of this chapter so if you're not interested just go ahead and read it I promise it's... alright.**

* * *

I let out an aggrieved sigh.

Kazuma remains silent, he's just finished recapping the events of his disastrous outing in detail. Somehow his explanation has left me more confused than I was when he began. After mulling over his story for a bit longer I have a few important questions.

I also have some unimportant questions like 'Why did you stop in the middle of the story to describe Eris in vivid detail?'.

Knowing to keep an eye out for a someone with 'silver hair', 'blue eyes' and a 'medium to small bust' is helpful advice. But I don't really care how sorrowful her eyes were, I don't care if she 'pads her bra' and I definitely don't care if that trickster goddess has a 'mature yet playful spirit'!

Setting aside Kazuma's preference in goddess I do my best to form a coherent explanation from his bizarre tale.

"So, to summarize, you all bullied some helpless fairies, Kazuma got smushed by a bigger fairy and then Aqua revived him."

"Oi, don't call him a big fairy he was a samurai!" Kazuma snaps back.

"Don't start with that again."

Rest assured we've already discussed the stupidity of a giant snow fairy dressing up as a samurai at length. I'll spare you the details of our heated discussion, but to surmise the winter shogun is a fairy, it might look like a samurai, but the it's just a big snow fairy. And I won't hear otherwise.

Interrupting us before we can get into another argument Aqua chimes in with her own disagreement.

"Nah, Kazuma wasn't smushed he was decapitated."

"…Is that important?"

"Of course! Reattaching a head is harder than fixing some smushed organs… you should all be praising me more!"

Helpful as always. Stifling a sigh, I decide to direct my next few questions towards the goddess, for once she seems to be contributing and I doubt Kazuma will be of much help with my next topic.

"Kazuma said Eris mentioned limitations on how many times a person can be revived, can he be brought back again?"

"Hehe, of course I am an elite goddess in charge of Japan, even that stubborn child wouldn't refuse my demands."

"Will you be able to do the same if I die?"

"…"

…

That's discouraging.

The silence drags on for a few more seconds, I take the opportunity to sip my drink grimacing at its swirly texture. I keep trying to drink my neroid, more out of curiosity than genuine enjoyment. Without taste all I have to go by is its swirly texture, which is more novel than it is pleasant.

Aqua watches me sip my drink in silence for a short while before she cracks under the non-existent pressure, confessing as though she were under a spotlight.

"Bringing Kazuma back is easy, he's just an untalented HikiNEET with no special circumstances. But you're difficult! It's not my fault you're weird!"

Kazuma squawks at her less than flattering appraisal, I consider defending him but abandon the idea after finding nothing wrong with her statement.

Massaging the bridge of my nose I take a deep breath. I wait for her to continue for a few moments before it becomes clear she isn't going to. She seems to think she can avoid the topic if she keeps whistling off-key.

"So, what's the issue, is it the eyes?"

"…Your eyes are an issue, but you have lots of other complications too, you have memory loss, you've died more than once, you have some sort of magical contract with your sister not to mention all the inbreeding… you should praise me for bringing you back even once!"

Aqua voices her complaints loud enough for the others to hear. Up until this point she'd been relatively quiet but as always, she can't resist the urge to brag and give away annoying details.

"That's a whole lot of backstory! And what was all that about contracts and death, you said it was a romantic adventure!" Kazuma interjects.

I shush him without turning away from Aqua. We only have a short window before she starts doing magic tricks and asking passer-by to pay for her meals.

"So, I can't be brought back again? What about my eyes? They've been getting worse since I came to this world."

"Creating a new body for you once was already way too hard, it's unreasonable to expect us to do it again, as for your condition… your new body is weaker than your first one, it won't last as long." Aqua admits that last part in a sheepish voice, her chair scrapes across tile as she 'subtly' retreats from the table.

"… I see, well then that answers most of my questions. Thanks." With my questions answered I politely thank her, she seems relieved pulling her chair back up to the table. She's no doubt glad that I haven't asked why she never mentioned this before.

She was probably expecting more anger about the condition of my new body. She shouldn't have as far as my physical condition goes, I was already living on borrowed time to begin with, it's not much of a revelation. I could ask if there are any easier ways to return home but even she can't be clueless enough to tell me that.

With the conversation over I listen in on Kazuma, who after being shushed is grumbling to Megumin and Darkness about feeling left out. While Megumin does her best to comfort him, Darkness quietly wonders what she needs to do to receive such 'persecution'.

" ̶ and that Goddess too! Since when did she have anything important to say? I'll just ignore them instead. Hey, Megumin could you use explosion on that snow fair ̶ The Winter Shogun?"

I'm not sure what to think of Kazuma right now. Honestly, he's handling his 'near' death experience better than most would, he isn't even shaking, to be honest it's a bit unsettling. I'm starting to realise why most people avoided me in high school.

Ignoring his recent resurrection, his talk of fighting the Winter Shog ̶ that big snow fairy seems concerning. He's already trying to convince Megumin to join him on another ill-fated attempt.

As a friend and ally I should probably say something to him.

"Kazuma… even if you were smushed by a fairy, you brought everyone back in one piece. Let it go or you'll get a reputation for being killed by fairies."

"Gah! Stop calling him a fairy! He's 'The Winter Shogun'!"

/-/

As I see my party out of the guild I snag Darkness' arm and gesture towards the table making sure to avoid the groups' attention. Catching my subtle cues Darkness calls out to Kazuma.

"Ah, Kazuma, Tohno needs to ask me something, I'll see you all tomorrow."

Kazuma comes to a screeching halt at her words.

"Staaaaaaaare"

Shrugging in response to Kazuma's conveniently punctuated stare I shoo him out of the guild along with Megumin and Aqua before motioning for Darkness to sit, so much for handling this quietly.

I'd forgotten about it until now, but Chris did mention she was friends with Darkness. I may have implied to Chris that I wouldn't interfere with her business but there's nothing wrong with asking a fellow party member a few questions, right?

Besides if Chris is going to keep interfering like she did today, then I should try to learn a bit more about her. I'm still hoping we can stay out of each other's way but that doesn't mean I should just ignore that blatantly suspicious character nosing around my business.

Speaking like a proper knight for once Darkness addresses me as I sit down at the table.

"I never had the chance to thank you for your assistance with Sir Beldia so I'll say it now. Thank you Tohno."

Huh, I'm not sure how to respond to that, I'm so used to hearing her spouting worrying fantasies that I forgot she could behave normally.

"Honestly, I should be thanking you, if you hadn't carried me to safety back then I would've been done for."

"Perhaps, but I must say, your skill during the fight was impressive, better than my own at the very least."

Not really a high bar. She makes an excellent meat shield but that's about all she brought to the battle, she quite literally failed to land a single blow on Beldia.

"Yeah… I've been meaning to ask, you do know how to use that right?"

I gesture towards her waist and presumably her sword.

"Erk! W-Well… I never put any points into sword skills, I felt my skill points were better spent elsewhere..."

"Elsewhere meaning…"

"Skills that draw aggression from monsters towards myself and enough stamina and constitution to take hits with or without my armour."

So, she's a giant punching bag, that's in line with my abysmal expectations and yet I'm still disappointed. Surely, she has something going on in her life other than a fetish.

Well at least this one can be easily solved, all she needs to do is put a few points into basic sword skills and she'll be able to help the next time we're in a fight. I could bring it up now but I'm getting pretty tired of listening to her ranting about her fetish, better to let Kazuma handle it.

"So I was hoping to ask you about Chris ̶ "

"I'm sorry, I promise I'll give her a talking to. I can cover the damages so please don't report her."

"Damages?"

"She didn't do anything to you? Whenever people bring her up its normally because she disappeared just before a quest or she conned someone out of their eris. But if you don't want your funds back… could it be… are you two having…"

She lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper

"A tryst?"

"… No. I just wanted to ask a few questions about her background, capabilities and weaknesses."

"This sounds suspicious… are you trying to seduce her? Aqua did say you had a harem."

"We're not having a tryst! And I don't have a harem… just a bunch of platonic relationships with girls my own age."

"Well if you don't want Chris for your harem then why would you want to know those things? Honestly to want that kind of information you'd either have to be wooing her or plotting against her."

"… So, if this were about seducing her, you'd be willing to tell me anything?"

"Of course, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't push Chris towards the first man who showed interest?"

"A good one?"

"Besides, if she starts dating a guy like you maybe she'll settle down and stay out of trouble, I really wish she could be more responsible."

I can't disagree with anything she's saying but coming from Darkness…

"So how did you and Chris meet?"

"Ah that's quite the story, it all began when I arrived at the church of Eris one day in dire need of help."

"You were in danger?"

"I wish! Father was being completely unreasonable about my hobbies. He stubbornly refused to let me go adventuring on my own, every time I set out he sent guards to slay everything I came across, how could I be ravaged by monsters with an elite guard constantly shielding me?"

"I think that might have been the point of sending guards ̶ "

At this she slammed her fists against the table.

"So unreasonable! What maiden shouldn't be able to experience the feeling of a rookie killers' teeth grinding against their bones?"

"All of them?"

"Of course, why should a single bone be spared!? I arrived at the church to pray to the goddess for a companion so that I could leave my escort ̶ "

"And that's when you met Chris?"

She lets out a rueful snort at my suggestion.

"Of course not, I prayed all night, but nothing happened. Looking back it was quite foolish to expect such a miracle but at the time I thought that I simply needed to show my determination. So, every day I returned kneeling down at the altar and reciting my wish, no matter how much my knees ̴ hah, bruised, no matter how much my body mmm ̴ ached I kept at it. I was quite the innocent lady."

"It sounds like you were anything but."

"Eventually Chris walked into the church and offered to form a party with me, she said 'If you're that desperate for friends, I guess I'll help you out.' I asked her how she knew but she wouldn't tell me no matter how hard I ground my knuckles against her temples."

"So, you met her in church?"

"I suppose you could put it like that."

Then why did I have to sit through another rant about your bizarre fixation on being 'ravaged'?

"Right… so what's the deal with her and devils?"

"Pass."

"…" I wordlessly lower my blindfold and offer her a stern look, she shivers excitedly. She promptly lets out a disappointed sigh when I hurriedly cover my eyes.

"So… what did Chris say?" She asks sheepishly.

"That devils should be 'exterminated without exception'."

"Oh, you mentioned them in front of her, it's one of the laws of the Eris sect: devils and undead are an afront to the goddess Eris, she's a bit more… overzealous about that one than most."

"She's like that about undead as well? What would she do if she heard about Wiz?"

"Ah she'd probably want to exter ̶ ! Oh… well I'm certain it'll be fine as long as nobody tells her that Wiz is a lich… and she never visits your workplace… and they don't meet by chance while living in the same city…"

I should check on Wiz tomorrow, even if she hasn't run into trouble with Chris, it's a safe bet that she's bought in some new stock for me to return. While this world doesn't exactly have any return policies, I've found that most merchants will offer refunds when confronted with a crying Wiz.

"So, if you're both members of the Eris sect then why haven't you tried to _off_ Wiz?"

"Ah well, when I realized that she was a lich I was about to challenge her but then you and Aqua got into a scuffle and Kazuma was telling people off… and well, it just didn't seem proper to interrupt."

"And now?"

"I have thought about challenging her… liches are powerful and with magic mmm ̴ the things she could do… but after seeing her around town I changed my mind. She doesn't seem unkind and it's hard to consider her a threat after watching her apologising in tears while you force merchants to return her money…"

Weird noises aside this seems promising, at least someone in our party can show some restraint. After trailing off for a moment Darkness continues.

"Well after seeing the two of you get along, I've come to the conclusion that humanity and the undead may be able to coexist after all."

"And Devils?"

"Pfft! Impossible, everybody knows that devils are chaotic evil."

/-/

"Mr Tohno?"

I nod towards the timid succubus.

"The manager has agreed to see you; do you need help finding her office?"

I smile politely as the young succubus eagerly guides me to the back of the café, through the staff breakroom and towards the manager's office.

Moments earlier I followed Dust and Keith into the 'café', half listening to their nervous ramblings as they paid their first visit to the succubus shop. After we arrived at the reception desk, I shared a brief handshake with the two of them before parting ways. Leaving them to their unsavoury business, I asked the receptionist if I could meet with the devil in charge.

Speaking of devils, it seems Darkness didn't know what she's talking about, shocking. As though trying to buck Darkness's stereotyping the young succubus at the front desk eagerly offered me refreshments and arranged a meeting with the manager on short notice.

Based on her voice the succubus is young, or at least looks young. Dust and Keith mentioned that this shop has been running for longer than any can recall, and the same staff have worked here from the beginning.

She holds the back door open for me as I make my way through the break room towards the manager's office, I do my best to ignore the curious stares of the succubi as I disturb their break.

Upon reaching the door the young succubus knocks three times, opening the door and leading me inside after a terse voice instructs us to enter.

"Mr Tohno, it's wonderful to meet you." The manager remains seated at her desk, a quiet scratching echoes across the room as she continues to write. I hear a slight ruffling of fabric as she makes some unseen gesture towards the succubus next to me. It was probably a dismissal as after pulling out a chair for me the young succubus quietly excuses herself.

I sit down in the offered chair with a polite nod. I don't have much experience with etiquette but Akiha has drilled me on the basics. After a few disastrous showings at formal events as Akiha's _completely platonic_ plus one, she felt it necessary.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me, I understand you must have a busy schedule."

The succubus offers a forced chuckle.

"You're not wrong, we're currently dealing with quite a few bookings, so I hope you'll be brief, I'm told you're not here for our regular services."

After that incident with Arcuied's familiar? Never! The patrons here may not have realised it yet but having kinky dreams based on people you know is just a recipe for disaster. Besides after the lecture I gave Arcueid over it, she'd never forgive me.

As though able to hear my thoughts she laughs again, although this time it sounds more genuine.

"Well if your expressions anything to go by you're a lost cause, so why did you come here?"

This is the best lead I have and if I'm going to rely on this succubus for information then I need to stay on her good side, but still… I can't tell her I'm here because some random seer told me to.

"I'm searching for a powerful vampire concealed in her own reality marble, I have it on good authority that a devil can help me reach her."

She pauses briefly in her writing, but quickly resumes her work before addressing me.

"Do you think you can kill such a being?"

"It would be almost impossible, so it's a good thing I'm not planning on it."

"Curious, humanity and vampires have been at each other's throats for years now and that wench Eris has declared devils and undead your natural enemy. If you aren't planning to kill her why seek her out. Dark magical pact?"

"Nope."

"Resurrect a loved one? That never goes well…"

"My family are alive and well thanks."

"Do you want her to turn you into a vampire?"

"She's a vegetarian."

"How would you…?"

Her pen clatters against the desk as she drops it. I hear her sweep her papers aside as she lets out an exaggerated gasp.

"How scandalous, adventurers and the undead are mortal enemies. But if you're already acquainted… could it be… are you two having…"

The way she lowers her voice is instinctively irritating.

"A tryst?"

"… My relationship with Arcuied isn't important ̶ "

She huffs at that.

"Tch, so uptight, it's been ages since I heard about any inter-species dating. I was hoping some of my workers would have stories eventually, but the adventurers around here are bunch of hopeless virgins. Come on you said you wanted my help didn't you, consider it my price."

And thus, at the request of a succubus I recounted my romantic adventure filled with first meetings, confessions in a moonlit park and the occasional homicide.

/-/

The manager offers a brief round of applause as my story draws to a close. I'm not sure whether to be pleased or irritated by that.

"Bravo, bravo 'killer demon' ̶ " I can practically hear her winking.

" ̶ that's quite the tale, I have half a mind to write it down, though perhaps I'd remove a few of the more… questionable scenes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She chuckles lightly in response.

"I'm just saying it seems like your story would be better served by excluding some of the more… sexual content."

"That's a bit rich coming from a succubus."

"Is it now? Well if I were to offer my expert opinion, I'd advise you to read some erotica, your choice in metaphors is a bit… questionable."

First the seer now this, am I really that bad in the bedroom? Arcueid didn't take issue with anything… then again it was her first time.

"If your done commenting on my sex life ̶ "

"I did have a few more suggestions but I suppose we can circle back…"

"Travel between worlds. Talk… please."

She snickers as a quiet scratching noise indicates that she's writing something down.

"Oh, very well, that was quite a tale and I do have a soft spot for inter-species couples. As you've no doubt realised travelling between worlds requires quite a bit of power, there's a reason only goddesses are resorting to it. That said there are a few devils who may be able to help you… "

She drops her pen as she finishes writing.

"You're looking for an archduke, no easy task as most tend to reside in hell, however a few have taken particular interest in this world, and provided you're strong enough… they may be willing to strike a deal."

She slides a sheet of paper across the table to me, given present company I shouldn't remove my blindfold so for the time being I place the paper in my pocket.

"Written there are the names of three archdukes who are believed to have some presence on this world along with their last known locations. His Grace Duke Max's whereabouts are currently unknown, but rumour has it he's currently contracted to a human; can't say I'd recommend him his price tends to be an eternity of torture."

"Yeah, none of that thanks."

"His Grace Duke Zerschrute has also made an appearance in this world though word is he came here in person, he's an honourable one, certainly willing to strike a deal if you're strong enough but he is also weaker than his fellow dukes, I can't say whether he'd be able to send you home.

And finally there is Sir Vanir, a gentlemanly demon of great repute, if you're looking to strike a deal there are no devils better ̶ "

"What's with the hard sell?"

"Ahem… well he does also happen to rule over the region of hell I call home… his affection for humans is well known and he is certainly powerful enough to help you… though he is a little pickier about his pact partners than most. To date, only one human has ever proven worthy enough to receive his boon.

Sir Vanir will also be the easiest to locate, everyone knows he's a general in the demon king's army."

"Sounds like a real friend of humanity…"

"Well we are technically at war you know… That's everything I know, if you want more you should try speaking to the owner of the magic item shop, she is being subsidised by the demon king after all."

"…What?"

* * *

 **So that's the chapter, can you tell it's the first half of a chapter that was getting way too long? Fun fact back when I had the time to write this I went through 5 whole versions of the scene with the succubus manager, some of which even involved Dust and company. When I came back to it I picked my favourite version and redrafted it.**

 **If I'm being honest the main issue with it is that, it's unnecessary. All of the pertinent information here can be provided by Wiz but I wanted to set up the conflict with Chris and the seer plotline was pushing Shiki towards the succubus shop. The problem is that I ended up having to make an OC to tell Shiki meaning I had an exposition dump from a character who was not planned and has no reason to show up again.**

 **But enough of me bitching the truth is I'm on a PhD course so I've been pretty overwhelmed with the workload and I've had to move house several times. That's all I got as far as excuses go, sorry for the lack of updates but I wanted to explain when I released this chapter and time got away from me. In terms of future updates I have half of the next chapter written but I wouldn't expect it out any time in the near future.**

 **Once I do finish that though I'm con** **sidering calling it quits, I don't think a long running story was a particularly wise choice for my first piece of creative writing. If I do quit I'll announce it when I release the next chapter and I'll give a brief summary of how I had planned for the story to end.**

 **Sorry if the tone here seems bleak I'm actually doing quite well at the moment and I really am happy doing PhD it's just that the pacing of this story is a lot slower than I'd expected (I was expecting to finish in about 12 chapters but to properly wrap this story up I would need at least 20) and as time's gone on my intrest in Konosuba's world has really diminished (I'm not in a position to talk but it feels like the authors been treading water since volume 6).**

 **Thanks to anyone who has had the patience to wait this long and apologies for the lack of forthcoming information.**


End file.
